I don't know where she learned it, but we approve
Tonight we had reason to go to the customer service counter at the grocery store. As we were standing there, Zoë said, "Oh, I'm so scared!" I asked her why. She said, "I'm scared of the poison smoke."
She was looking at the cigarettes.
Gots my jewelleries
We went to church this evening for a sausage and pancake dinner (well, it is Shrove Tuesday, after all). Before we went, I went into my room to have a poke through my jewellery box. Zoë came to see what I was doing and then went to her own room and got her jewellery box. She emerged a few minutes later wearing a bracelet, a ring, a necklace, and, of course, earrings (she has pierced ears now and wears sleeper hoop earrings most of the time; she knows not to try to change them by herself).
Announced Zoë, "I gots my jewelleries for to go to church!"
And she put her "jewelleries" away when she got ready for bed, too!
Zoëspeak
For the past couple of days, Zoë and Miranda have been playing pirates, which mostly means they've been searching for treasure. This, happily, is some trinket or the paper treasure chest Zoë constructed of pink paper and sticky tape (she's extremely clever that way), and they're not rummaging around in my jewellery boxes or the closets or anything.
Today, Zoë was playing with a tall, blue duster. You know, a stick with fuzzy stuff on it that you use to dust. One of those. I thought she was using it as a "feathersword" (like Capt Feathersword of The Wiggles), but as I watched her, she was holding it in front of her toward the ground and making a beeping noise. I finally asked her what it was. She informed me it was a "hunting finder". I then observed that when she "found" the treasure, it would beep much more rapidly. Yes, she was pretending it was a metal detector, but I kind of like "hunting finder".
I'd also like you to know that the earphone headset for the girls' computer is "a computer helmet".
And a final Zoëism for the day, we had a shower and I was doing my hair, which is currently fairly short. I put some gel through it and was running my fingers through to get it a bit tousled. Zoë asked me what I was doing, I said I was just fixing my hair. Then she asked, "Your fingers is pretend to be a brush?"
Stickers
Another Zoë story, that is, a story told by Zoë, which doesn't start where most people would think to start a story.
Miranda: Zoë has stickers on her dress.
Me: Zoë, what are the stickers for?
Zoë: For the winner.
Me: The winner? Did you win something?
Zoë: I won at bingo.
Me: Oh, bingo. Where you get the numbers in a row?
Zoë: Yes, I got the numbers in a row two times.
(And she had two stickers.)
Now, that seems pretty minor, I know, but it was a full conversation with a child who really didn't speak at all until she was well over three years old. That, however, is beside the point. The thing with the story is that most people would start the conversation with, "We played bingo today," or "I won playing bingo," or similar. Even if they didn't think to bring it up, when the stickers were noted, the usual thing would be to say something like, "I won them at bingo," rather than "They were for the winner." It's like Zoë and the rainbow lorikeet biting her finger, which began with, "I hurt my finger".
Zoë's dad has noted that she simply starts a story with whatever she considers the most important. In the case of the lorikeet, the most important part was that she hurt her finger. With the stickers, the most important part was that she got them as a prize, she got them for being the winner.
The more Zoë communicates, the more we can see glimpses of the inner workings of her thoughts and reasoning. And she thinks like a computer programmer, or maybe an engineer, but that's hard to say (I've known a lot more programmers than engineers). Go to what's important first, and go from there. Makes sense to a lot of people, including Zoë.
A New Baby
Zoë and I had an interesting conversation on Sunday, when it was just the two of us at home (Dad and sister went out to a concert Nanna was playing for; Zoë and I stayed home and chilled).
She informed me that we need "a new baby". After making sure she meant a real baby and not a baby doll, I asked her where she thought we might get a new baby. She pointed to my belly. I smiled and asked her why she thought we needed a new baby, and she said, "Because Miranda and I aren't babies any more." She suggest that, "Next weekend, you could go to hospital," (which, of course, is where most people get their new babies). I did tell her that it takes more than a week for a baby to grow, but I'm not sure she was that interested in my explanation.
She then went on to insist that the new baby must be a girl. I asked her about having a boy baby, and she was clear that it had to be a girl baby, not a boy baby.
Why, you might wonder. I know I did. After our conversation, which was good natured and involved a lot of giggling, cuddling, and smiling, I had a think about it. It seems that Zoë is under the impression that every house needs to have at least one baby girl in it, and since she and Miranda aren't babies any more, we need another. This is the "conservation of girl babies" theory, I think.
I hurt my finger, too
Miranda found out firsthand that roses have thorns, while having a look at our neighbor's garden (politely, of course, not tramping through or anything). So at dinner, she announced, "I hurt my finger today!" Zoë piped up with, "I hurt my finger, too."
So we asked Zoë how she hurt her finger and she said a rainbow parrot bit it. We found this somewhat unusual, so we asked more questions... Getting a story out of Zoë can be an interesting proposition. She usually doesn't volunteer information in any way that resembles a story, and you kind of have to ask a lot of questions and piece it all together.
Which is just what we did. Apparently, a badly injured or very ill rainbow lorikeet was on the ground in the playground, and Zoë spotted it. She went over to the bird and tried to pick it up, and it bit her on the finger (poor thing was probably terrified). A teacher got a box and put the bird in it and took it to the vet, and Zoë got a bandage on her finger.
I did actually confirm this story with one of the teachers, just to make sure, and we had it right. Zoë knew exactly what happened. She just told us the most important parts first (that she hurt her finger, and that it was a "parrot" that bit her). You just have to ask the right questions!
You say...
Zoë has learned somehow (probably from many years of speech therapy) to say to other people, "You say..." and then tell them what she wants them to say. When I'm cross with her, she'll sometimes say, "You say, 'It's okay.'" She frequently tells her sister what to say when they're playing together, acting out some scenario they're making up (they're both quite creative that way). We hear a lot of "You say, you're welcome!" and "You say, thank you!" and "You say, what did you do today?"
This morning, Zoë was getting dressed for school and when she went to put on the jumper (sweater) I'd chosen for her, she announced to her dad, "I don't want this. You say, 'Why?'"
Dad obliged and asked her why. She answered, "It's stuck!"
She had outgrown it and couldn't get it over her head.
Naturally, he got her a different jumper. Nothing worse than having one that sticks! You say, that's right!
Mr Bean and the Falling Down Show
We went out to the shops yesterday to get a few things (including lunch). As we were getting in the car to come home, Zoë looked up at me and said, "We go home now. Tonight we can watch Mr Bean on the Falling Down Show!"
And when the Falling Down Show came on (note: that's Australia's Funniest Home Videos, which Zoë dubbed "the falling down show" and we liked that name better and so call it that now), it did, indeed, have a spot with Mr Bean in it, somewhat to my surprise.
I suspect that Zoë saw an advertisement for the show that mentioned Mr Bean (who she loves), and she remembered it. She also obviously knows that it's on Saturday evening, and knew that yesterday was Saturday.
I'm not surprised she knew what day it was. Days go in predictable, regular cycles, and Zoë's good at that. I'm also not surprised that she remembered that Mr Bean was going to be on the show. She's got a good memory for things she'd like to see (she always knows when the new animated movies are coming out, and reminds us constantly that we need to go see them!). I am somewhat suprised that she was able to articulate her thoughts that clearly, and that she did it in the carpark as we were going home, but in context it makes perfect sense.
It's great to see and hear her able to express her thoughts like that, even if it is about a show I personally don't like much (okay, I like the animal clips sometimes, so long as nobody's getting hurt), and about a character I like even less. If she's happy watching Mr Bean on the Falling Down Show and, better yet, talking about it, I'm going to let her! (Beside, there's nothing else on at that time of day on a Saturday; may as well let the kid have a laugh or two; I try to teach her that the ones where people get hurt are not actually funny, because I don't think they are, and while watching the show, I did hear her say, "Oh, no! Oww!" a couple of times, so the message is getting through...)
I didn't!
So, Zoë's latest all-purpose phrase is, "I didn't!" She uses it all the time, and in very annoying ways sometimes. You can catch her right in the act of something (slamming doors, pushing her sister, eating something without permission, etc. etc.) and she'll say, "I didn't!"
Today, we were coming up the front path after the bus arrived and I was holding her hand. She didn't want me to hold her hand, so she reached around and grabbed my fingers and bent my thumb back so hard it actually audibly popped. I said, "OW! You hurt my thumb!"
To which she replied, "I didn't!"
Lying, of course, is a known sign of intelligence (seriously, it is, look it up!), and I do realise that up to a certain age, kids think that if they say something, that makes it true (magical world and all that), but I really do know when someone bends my thumb back so far it pops! There's no convincing Zoë of that, though...
A Conversation with Zoë
Me: What did you do today at school?
Zoë: Cooking.
Me: Oh? What did you cook?
Zoë: Zucchini slice (note for non-Aussies, in this case, "slice" is more or less a baked casserole)
Me: Did you help?
Zoë: Yes.
Me: What did you do?
Zoë: I broke the eggs.
Me: You broke the eggs? Wow! And did you eat the slice when it was done?
Zoë: Yes.
Me: Was it nice?
Zoë: Yes.
Me: If we cook some zucchini slice at home would you eat some?
Zoë: No.
Me: You wouldn't eat any? Not even if you help cook it?
Zoë:: No. I'll eat chicken.
Hugs
Zoë is getting funny about giving hugs. She used to be very physically affectionate, but lately she doesn't seem to want to cuddle very much.
Today I met her when the bus arrived and I gave her a hug on the porch before we came in. A little while later, I said to her, "Come here, let's have a hug." Zoë answered, as clearly as you please, "No, we already had a hug outside!"
The Weather
Yesterday, it was quite warm, and Zoë went to school in shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, without any jacket. Today, it's very grey and considerably colder (well, it is Melbourne, after all).
At breakfast, Zoë looked outside and then announced to her father, "Yesterday, was sunny and hot. Today, is raining. I need a rain coat."
To many parents, this would be unremarkable. To us, it's amazing. Not only is she making observations about the world around her, she's speaking about past tense events and she's doing it in context, on the spur of the moment, and she's asking for things relevant to her observations.
I've always known that she's smart and able to think and reason. I've seen lots of evidence of it, and lots of examples of her cleverness. She didn't do well on the formal IQ test she had to take, but I think that was because she wasn't that interested in cooperating, not because she couldn't work it out. For all I know, she looked at the puzzles and tests and worked it out in her head and decided she wouldn't do it because she'd already figured out how (I'm not betting on that, but it wouldn't shock me, really).
Now that she's got growing language ability, she's much better behaved and generally a lot happier. I believe this is because she is smart and she has been terribly frustrated by her inability to understand the world around her (the world is amazingly language-based; it's the one thing that truly sets humans apart from most of the animal kingdom), and her inability to communicate her thoughts and observations and desires. Now that she can do that more and more, she's just much more content.
She's still got a long way to go and a lot of "catch up" to do, and she needs to work on some of her more subtle social skills (she's good with saying please and thank you now, and other appropriate social things like hello and goodbye), and her speech is still quite behind others her age (and her diction is often very poor, indeed). But the improvement this year has been truly amazing.
I'm so glad we decided to send her to a special school instead of trying to shoehorn her into a mainstream one (really, I never had any intention of putting her in a mainstream school, but I know a lot of parents who do exactly that in some sort of attempt to make their child "more normal" or something). Her progress is just fantastic.
Cheese
We had hot dogs for dinner, and I asked Zoë what she wanted on her hot dog. She said, "Sprinkle cheese."
Her pronounciation still isn't good, and I wasn't sure what she was saying, so I had her come and show me. She looked inside and picked up the bag of grated cheese.
Apparently, you're meant to sprinkle it on the bread. (I wish I had emoticons installed, because that really needs a smiley face.)
A Conversation with Zoë
Me: Did you go on an excursion today at school?
Zoë: Yes.
Me: Where did you go?
Zoë: My Store Myer (note to non-Aussies, the name of the store is Myer, but their jingle and slogan is "My Store Myer", which she's learned from the tv commercials).
Me: You went to Myer? Really?
Zoë: Yes!
Me: What did you do at Myer?
Zoë: A toy sale at Myer.
Me: Toy sale?! You went to the toy sale?
Zoë: Yes. Toy sale.
Me: Did you get a toy?
Zoë: Yes.
Me: What did you get?
Zoë: A Thomas toy! (Referring to Thomas the Tank Engine.)
Me: Did you get the toy for school?
Zoë: Yes. At school.
I have no idea if this is true. Her communication book didn't come back today so there's no comment from the teacher. I may have to ask about it. If they did, indeed, get a toy for the school's collection, I can see that. But, it's possible that Zoë is actually telling me a wishful story. Either way, it's pretty good communication.
She's doing well, is my Zoë.
Comprehension
Zoë's comprehension has gone way, way up. She understands even fairly complex things now. The other night she was mucking around in the water in the kitchen sink (she likes to try to do the dishes, which is sweet, but she does a poor job on the dishes and makes a big mess in the process). I called to her to get out of the kitchen, which she did. She came over to me with obviously wet hands. I said, "Go in the bathroom and dry your hands on a towel," and she understood me perfectly and did what I asked.
She's been talking a lot lately about the "Chocolate Egg Rabbit", which is, it would seem, the Easter Bunny. Given Zoë's bad reaction to chocolate (she's probably allergic to it as both her uncles were as children; she gets extremely irritable and difficult to deal with when he has much chocolate, so we try to really limit that, but it's surprising how hard it is to avoid chocolate!), we probably won't be having chocolate eggs. I do plan on getting some jellybeans and other nice, non-chocolate treats, of course.
She's doing well at school. Very happy to go in the mornings, tired when she gets home (last night she conked out at a more reasonable hour than she's been going to bed, so she's getting back into the school routine now). Yesterday she was so happy to see the "white bus" that she ran down the front path before Andrew could stop her (he normally accompanies her down to the bus), stopped at the end of the driveway, waited for the doors to open, and then got on the bus, shouting "Bye! Seeya waiter!" over her shoulder as she bounded into her seat.
We're still having issues with getting her to eat and to sit at the table (she likes to get up and roam around a bit, and then come back and eat some more, which I find extremely annoying and not at all good manners), but she is eating her lunch at school now, which she wasn't doing for the first couple of weeks. She's never been a big eater (except of chocolate and her beloved potato chips), and she's still not. Hot weather makes it particularly noticible, as she loses all appetite and will to eat (well, except for chcocolate and chips, but we're not going to give her a diet of junk!).
Overall, she's doing extremely well, lots of improvement in many, many areas. Still several to go (her speech is still spotty, at best), but we're very pleased with her progress. I can't wait to see what she's doing by the end of the school year!
Great talking
Lately, Zoë has been speaking more and more clearly and creatively. She's even using certain vocal nuances such as using a tone of voice to convey meaning.
Just a couple of examples...
She said to her dad, "You want a drink?" (she still says "you" when she means "I", but we'll get that sorted out).
Dad: "Okay. How about some milk?"
Zoë: "Okay. Milk."
Dad gets a blue cup out of the cupboard.
Zoë: "No, is not a blue cup. Is a pink cup." (meaning: I don't want a blue cup, I want a pink one)
Dad: "Oh, okay. A pink cup." He goes to the cupboard and gets a pink cup, but it's not the one she had in mind.
Zoë: "No, is not a pink cup. Is a pink cup!"
Dad laughs. Zoë goes to the table and gets the pink cup she wanted to use, which she had previously used for some juice, and takes it to Dad, who gives it a quick wash and gives it to her with the milk. Zoë is happy.
Another example is that we parked in a multi-level parking garage at a shopping center we frequent. This level had lots of parking spots open because it's the level for which you have to go up or down the spiral ramps (okay, they're not really spiral, but a big square, but it "spirals" down and up) to get to an entrance. Zoë got out of the car and said, "Want to go on a ladder!" referring to the ramps (hey, it was a pretty good guess that it was a ladder).
Today she went to check the mail and there was nothing in the box. I asked her, "Is it empty?" and she said, "Nothing there!" as clearly as you please.
These are only a few examples of things she's been saying lately. We're seeing a lot of languge use that is spontaneous and creative, and clearly communicative. Presumably, this is just another step of her development and maturation, because we're not really doing anything different (other than the speech therapy, early intervention groups, pre-school, and other aids we customarily use such as flash cards and the like). I suspect that the better quality sleep she's been getting for some time (since we started giving her melatonin regularly) is also helping in this area; a better rested person is likely to have better brain activity, certainly.
Whatever it is, I'm happy to see it. Right now she's singing the "Going on a Bear Hunt" song while reading the book she has about it...
Holiday
We went on a couple of days' holiday earlier this week. Zoë did all right, considering. She slept in a strange bed in a strange room without too much complaint, and other than flushing three small soaps down the toilet the first night, she didn't trash the rooms or anything.
On the day we were driving back, she was pretty irritable. Partly, I'd forgotten to pack her iron supplements, which she absolutely needs or she gets very difficult and irritable. Partly, it was just too much weirdness for her, I think, and she was having trouble coping. Partly, she was getting bored with being in the car, and I can't really say I blame her much there.
At lunch time, we stopped in a very nice visitor area in a small country town and we got lunch from a local bakery (fresh, hot meat pies, yum!). Then we had a potty break and the kids had a play in the very nice playground available near the picnic area. When it was time to go, Zoë was happy to get back in the car, and we thought all was well.
An hour and a half or so later, we stopped at a small park in a very small town because there were public toilets there and Miranda needed to go potty. Zoë, by that time, was being difficult, and at first refused to go to the toilet, and then decided that she'd go, after all, and she made a beeline for the men's room (it wasn't a problem; there weren't any men there to be worried about it).
Upon finishing, she kicked up a big fuss about getting back into the car, and when I let go of her hand she shot out over to a small playground that was there, one which neither Andrew nor I had noticed at all (but she did, which is probably why she decided she'd get out and go potty). She made a HUGE fuss about leaving the playground, it was quite a scene, a big meltdown with howling that lasted for some time once we got her back in the car.
Eventually, she finally found the pleasure of zoning out while looking out the window at the passing scenery, and she managed to calm herself down.
Fast forward a bit and we were starting to get hungry in an afternoon tea sort of way, and we started looking for a milk bar or grocery store where we could get some sort of light snack. To do this we had to get off the freeway and drive through some towns, and in the process, we passed a park with public toilets and a playground and such.
A little voice from the back seat called out, "Go potty?"
I answered, "No, we're not going to stop for the potty now. You just went."
Again, "Go potty?"
I turned to Andrew and said, "She saw the playground. She wants to get out and have a play."
A pause, and then the little voice announces, "Not want to play. Just go potty... ?"
Andrew and I both burst out laughing, because it was very clear that she was, more or less, lying in order to get us to stop (we didn't, but we did tell her it was excellent talking).
So, not only is she talking, she's understanding what we're saying (a lot more than we might give her credit for!) and she's learning to say things that may or may not be strictly speaking true, but which, if we believe them, will get her the chance to do what she wants.
I can't help but see that as a positive thing, and for the record, it's well established that lying is a sign of high intelligence.
Progress
Zoë has been communicating much, much more effectively lately. She's actually answering questions, she's making the effort to verbally ask for things she wants. It's very encouraging.
She has also, however, been a real pain in the neck off and on for the past couple of weeks. Partly, it was school holidays and she was bored, but also, she tends to get rather difficult when she's about to have a developmental leap of some sort. This time, it seems it was the speech.
She's actually having real conversations! They tend to be short, and sometimes you have to guess at what she means by the words she chooses, but real, two-way conversations!
I guess if the price for a growth is a couple of weeks of pain in the neck, we'll take it!
Speech Assessment
Zoë saw her speech therapist today and they managed to get the "receptive" part of a formal speech assessment done. The therapist is convinced that Zoë understands and can express a good deal more than we know, that there's a lot going on inside her little head, and that we just can't reach it (nor can she let it out) because of her stubborn and typically autistic determination to do what she wants and only what she wants or is interested in.
Thankfully, this behavior is becoming much more modified as she matures and has more life experiences and gets more therapy of various kinds, and we do expect (as does her speech therapist) that a year or two of the highly specialized program at the school she's going to next year will be extremely helpful in breaking through that streak of stubbornness.
So, basically, it's just what we already thought. She's a clever kid, and she's got a lot more going on inside than people probably think...
All around improvement
Zoë is doing very well, lately. I'm quite impressed with her. She's been listening and obeying simple commands (such as "Don't chase" or "Stop!"), she's following simple directions, she's communicating in various ways. I'm really pleased, to say the least.
Today, Miranda was being a pain and she was crying endlessly about something stupid (I wouldn't give her something she wanted but which I didn't think she should have), and Miranda stood and just cried and cried and cried, quite annoyingly. After trying to reason with her, I decided to just ignore her until she stopped.
Zoë had other ideas. She told Miranda to "stop crying" a couple of times and then went to the cupboard and got a cup and poured some fresh milk into the cup, put the milk away, and then brought the cup in, saying, "Here, Awanda, dwink, stop crying." I told Zoë to put the cup on the table, and she did, and Miranda did, indeed, go and have the drink and it did make her feel better!
Naturally, I praised Zoë for her thoughtfulness and for being so helpful.
Later, we were in the kitchen and Zoë got herself a drink of water and drank about half of it from the cup, then put the cup on the kitchen counter and announced "Drink of water all done," and tried to make the sign for "finished", although she didn't do it right. I asked her what that meant and said, "What's that sign?" and she threw her hands up and said, "It's a sign!" and laughed.
And so did I.
Good day!
Zoë had a really good day at preschool. She did some cutting and threading (something she missed out on yesterday), she had a nice play, she actively participated with the singing with motions, and she was just generally really cooperative and happy to be there.
There was a bit of a battle of wills over sitting down throughout the entire snack time (this is always an issue with her), but she did sit once she understood she was going to have to.
All in all, they were very impressed with her behavior and alertness today, and so am I!
And when she got home, she sat down to play with the new batch of play dough I cooked up (see recipe in previous entry), and played very nicely for some time. She even showed me where to find her little rolling pin (she had hidden it away in a cupboard).
Good day at Early Intervention
Zoë did very well today at her Early Intervention group. She didn't want to participate in the singing, and she definitely didn't want to sit at the table for all of snack time, but I managed to persuade her that she had to, and she was okay. She complained about it, but she didn't have a tantrum. Last year, trying to force compliance would have resulted in a huge meltdown.
They're also working on getting her to sit for the entire snack time at pre-school, as well, and we're working on it at home.
It looks like some of the behavior issues that have so driven me nuts and interfered with Zoë's ability to learn are starting to finally abate. *fingers crossed8
Pictures
Well, the picture schedules are working very well. I'm trying not to overdo it, because we also want to encourage Zoë's verbal skills, but I do use the pictures to communicate to her what's going to happen, what plans we have, etc.
Today we went to the movies (we saw "The Incredibles"), so I made up a picture schedule that included putting our shoes on, going in the car, going to get popcorn (from the fancy popcorn place in the shopping center; much nicer than the theatre popcorn), going to the movie, getting back in the car, and coming home.
Zoë was thrilled with the pictures, and I showed her what they were, told her what they meant, etc. For the first one, putting shoes on, she sat down and took one shoe off so she could put it back on and follow the schedule!
She was pretty okay in movies, although toward the end there were some pretty intense scenes and she was a little frazzled by that. She kept coming over for hugs, and she got her picture schedule to hold (maybe as a reminder that we'd eventually go?) and finally I got her to sit in her stroller, which seemed to comfort her (we always sit near the spaces for wheelchairs so we can put the strollers in, and we go to matinees so there are fewer people there).
When we got home, she got into a fight with her sister over a balloon and Andrew finally took it away entirely. Zoë had managed to work herself up into a tizzy, she was just practically hysterical. I got the idea that maybe we could help her with pictures, so I printed a full-page illustration of "no crying" and it actually worked. She saw the picture on the computer screen before it printed and we talked about what it meant, and she immediately started trying to calm down and stop crying. By the time the picture was printed, she was mostly settled, and she took the picture and said, over and over, "no crying, no crying". It was almost magic, I was really stunned!
I think we'll make a few full-page illustrations of the very useful and necessary images and get them laminated, and then we'll think about having some smaller picture cards laminated for other kinds of communication.
I'm definitely considering meeting with Zoë's teachers and getting a general outline of the typical day and making up a picture schedule for her to use. I might also think about how to do a weekly schedule that shows when they're going to pre-school or playgroup or whatever (not sure how to pull that one off, though, heh).
Picture schedule
Well, I signed up for Make-a-Schedule today, and printed out a quickie schedule for what's going to happen this evening. Zoë couldn't be more thrilled. She was thrilled when the printer spit out the page (she's quite fascinated with printers), she was thrilled when I showed her the pictures and told her what they were for, and she ran off with the page, very happily pointing to the pictures and saying what they were.
We shall see how it goes, of course, but so far, she's pretty excited about it. Hopefully, this will help her to understand what's going on and what to expect.
I think we need to get a printer...
...or we need to repair the printer we have.
Zoë had speech therapy today for the first time in quite a while, and I discussed the use of picture cards for not only communication, but to help Zoë understand what's going on, when things will happen, etc. (schedules). She's doing all right with understanding communication, in fact, but there are still big gaps in her ability to know what's going on. Pictures can help that, and lessen her anxiety about being in a situation where she doesn't know what to expect.
I had a look at some professional picture and scheduling software and the one initially mentioned is terribly expensive. Not that I think she's not worth it, but there are other, better options available, ones that wouldn't break the bank, particularly considering that we need a new printer.
Right now I'm looking at the Make-A-Schedule program from Do-to-Learn. Haven't settled on it yet (might be interested in buying pre-made picture cards, if I can find some), but it looks like a good option, anyway.
Cranky girl
Zoë seems somewhat overwhelmed with things. We went for a trip to the beach a couple days ago and that was fun but exhausting for her (very stimulating, all the new sensations and things to see and people to meet, since we went to meet with an internet friend of mine). Also, Uncle David is here, and while she seems to adore him, it's kind of weird for her to have him here.
Mostly, though, she went one day too many without her usual iron supplements, and today she's been very oppositional and difficult to manage. At the moment, she's hiding out in the bathroom, refusing to wash her hands. Eventually, when she decides for herself that she wants to wash her hands, she will, but for now, she won't, because she just won't.
A Zoë will do what a Zoë will do and there's no doing anything about it.
Happy Fifth Birthday!
Zoë's had a lovely birthday. She had a really good early intervention session in the morning and then lunch at McDonald's, complete with a big play in the McD's playground. Then her dad came home and brought her a new DVD. He gave it to her and said, "Happy birthday!" She was very interested in the "new DVD" (her words!) and today asked for it. She said, "Want a DVD." I answered, "You want a DVD?" and she said, "New DVD. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...." (singing the song). I was greatly amused, to say the least (and no, the DVD doesn't have the Happy Birthday song on it anywhere at all; she understood that it was a birthday present).
She's saying more things all the time. She said to her speech therapist, "I want box," which was something of a first. She also said, "Whatcha doin', Nanna?" and to me she's started saying, "Hello, Mom," (with an American accent; her speech/accent is a combination of Australian, American, what sounds like "Deaf Accent" and some pronunciations that sound surprisingly like a New Zealand accent, go figure).
Her behavior has been very good, as well. I'm thinking this is partly because we can finally get liquid iron supplements again (she's been taking basic vitamin supplements and it's not high enough in iron) and partly just that she's passed a milestone of development.
So, well, she's still not Neurologically Typical, but she's doing very well, and improving all the time. It's only a matter of time before she can pass for Neurologically Typical (although she'll always be eccentric, like, hey, most of the rest of the family, heh).
Trains and Grandparents and the City
Zoë had a big day out today. Her grandparents had to go into the city to run some errands and do a spot of shopping, so they took her with them on the train and a few trams. She absolutely loved the train and the trams (but only while the tram was moving), and she was apparently very well-behaved with only a few scuffles (such as wanting to get on the train when it was the wrong one). She had fish and potatoes for lunch and just had a wonderful day.
She's been chattering and singing all day, and when I was asking her about her day she chattered to me (I don't always understand her, and it's hard to get her to repeat herself). One thing she said that I did understand was, "I eated today," which rather shocked me. It's a full sentence, and she constructed it on the spot! True, she got the verb tense incorrect, but it's an irregular verb, so what can you expect? The point was that she told me something in a complete sentence. I was extremely pleased.
I've also noticed that she'll accept food on her plate even if she doesn't want to eat it. She used to have fits if you put something "icky" on her plate. Now, she knows she can just leave it alone and eat the bits she wants. This is a good improvement, as is the fact that she's more willing to eat new foods. We've gotten her to eat all kinds of roat meat, including beef, when previously she wouldn't eat red meat of any sort!
In short, she's made very big strides this year, and particularly in the past couple of months.
We've also gotten word that she's been approved for six hours a week of educational assistance at her pre-school. She's got more than six hours of pre-school a week next year, but I'm sure they'll work it out. This is good, as it not only helps Zoë and the school, it sets the precedent to show that she does need the help. She'll have to be re-assessed after six months, but that's typical. I'm sure she'll still qualify, given her history and patterns.
I'm hopeful that by the time she finishes next year's four-year-old course, plus the ongoing speech therapy, plus the early intervention, she'll be able to go to prep (kindergarten) with assistance. That's the plan, anyway...
Big improvements all around
Zoë's doing really well. Her comprehension has increased dramatically, and while her expressive speech is still lagging, she's doing very well with it, considering. She's started to form spontaneous two-word phrases to describe things, for example. Her vocabulary is still quite small, but I'm not sure if it's that she doesn't know the word or she actually can't get the word out of her head and into her mouth (I see her struggling sometimes with trying to talk).
Her behavior has improved on many levels, including being able to recover herself better when she loses control or has a tantrum. She's more compliant these days, on a general level.
She's also doing very well with toilet control. For a while she was wetting her pants on a regular basis, but I'm not sure why. Stress? Change in routine? Testing to see how long she could hold it? Dunno, but she seems to have gotten around that now.
Overall, she's doing very well in terms of improvement. We've got a long way to go in some areas, particularly expressive speech, but this year has seen a great deal of maturing and growth and that's a very good thing, indeed.
Doing really well
Zoë is doing really well with regard to speech and language skills. She had a really great day at Early Intervention playgroup on Wednesday, and then a really good session at her speech therapy on Friday. Everyone has remarked on how pleased and surprised they are by her interaction and communication.
For a while there, I was really despairing as to how she was doing, because there seemed to be so little progress, but I guess she just sort of absorbed it until it hit critical mass and flipped some little switch in her brain, because, wow, she's really getting it now!
Our goal of having her do four-year-old pre-school next year (with an educational assistant) and then actual school the year after that may actually be a reasonable goal after all (I was starting to worry about that).
So, big sigh of relief around here. She's doing really, really well.
Calling!
Zoë just called her sister! It's the first time I've seen her do this, although she may have called her Dad on a couple of occasions. Zoë got some cheese out of the fridge and peeled off a slice for her little sister and then called out, "Wanda! Wanda!" (that's "wand" with a short "a", rhymes with "land") and she used the correct sing-song voice that you use when calling someone.
WOW! She really is starting to get it! YAY!!!
Look! Flowers!
Zoë's talking more and more all the time. It's really wonderful, and sometimes surprising.
We went to meet her new speech therapist last week (since her previous one has left that particular practice), and when we arrived there were flowers blooming all around the parking area. Zoë enthusiastically said, "Look! Flowers!"
She had a reasonably good session, eventually decided to interact with the therapist and all. She was counting and laughing a good deal, and using various words she knows. Pretty good omen, I think.
She's also very definitely understanding a lot more than she has before. There are so many more things I can tell her or ask her and she responds very well to most of it (granted, I know most of what she understands, so I do try to keep with that and only push her a little to more understanding; if I push too hard she gets very frustrated).
Oh, and this has nothing to do with speech, but the other night she was playing with some old Post-it notes she found, and she stuck one on each side of her head and pretended to be a dog with floppy ears! Pretty clever use of Post-it notes, I think!
Look!
Zoë got a little "show bag" at pre-school today, probably because they were talking about the Royal Melbourne Show (for non-Aussies, that's very like a state fair). In the bag was a bag of popcorn, a small chocolate (Freddo Frog, yum), a coloring page, a colorful paper mask, and a balloon.
Zoë was very excited by her bag of goodies and poked through it for a while and then announced to me, "Look! I got a balloon!"
It wasn't terribly clear as far as pronunciation, but she definitely used a full sentence spontaneously!
Oh, sh*t!
Very early this morning, I heard a crash. I said to Andrew, "Did you hear that?" He replied, 'Yeah, something fell off the wall in Zoë's room. We'll look in the morning." (Note that the crash was in a place that was well removed from her bed, which is why neither of us worried.
Later, I heard Zoë as she woke up. She likes to play in her room for a while before she comes out, and I heard her talking and singing a bit. Then I heard her get out of bed. Then I heard her go over where the crash was and I heard, "Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t."
My first thought is that I'm going to have to use a different word from now on.
My second thought, though, is that it's excellent that she's picked up a phrase and is using it exactly in context and spontaneously!
For what it's worth, the crash was actually something fairly minor. It just made a big noise, and Zoë apparently felt it was serious enough to swear over it...
Big improvements in language
It's been far too long since I made an entry here, but I'm doing it now, so there.
Zoë's comprehension of languge has been improving tremendously. She's much better able to understand simple commands and comments, and she's also figured out that if she doesn't understand, someone is likely to show her what they mean.
And, big improvement here, she's realized that it's frequently a good idea to ask for assistantce. For example, she finally worked out that, 'Your shoes are on the wrong feet," meant that there was something not right about her shoes and that they needed to be fixed, although she hasn't quite figured out the whole thing about which shoe goes on which foot. Today while getting dressed, she asked for help in being shown which shoe went on which foot.
Over breakfast, she was making a cute little face with a sort of wiggly nose, it's a bit hard to describe. She then looked at her dad and announced, "Rabbit!" She was making a "rabbit" face. In the past, she's pretended to be a cat, and a dog, and now she's a rabbit. (Can't wait to see what animal she is next...)
Oh, and another big improvement is that she's decided she likes to eat pork! We had pork cutlets for dinner and she had something else, but as I was cutting my meat she opened her mouth for a bite, so I gave her one. She ended up eating about half of a large pork cutlet. From now on, we'll make sure she gets her own helping of pork when we're having it, since she'll eat it (getting the kid to eat has always been a bit of a fight.)
Her behavior has been generally fairly good, other than when she was sick earlier this week. She's always very crabby when she's recovering (while sick, she's actually very quiet and extremely subdued), and this time was no exception. She's gone to early intervention playgroup today, though, and had a reasonable breakfast, so she seems to be over the worst of the illness (I have it now, though, unfortunately).
So, actually, we're seeing an overall improvement in pretty much all areas lately. This is good, and a big relief. For a while, I was despairing that she wasn't improving at all. It's amazing what small dietary changes and a bit of time can do.
Mama!
Well, after her two days of being wretched and awful, we went out Saturday and she was just lovely the whole time. She ate lunch even though it was somewhat unfamiliar to her and had tomatoes in it (it was a ham, cheese, and tomato toasted foccacia sandwich), she went potty when we required it (she did complain a great deal about being "taken" to the potty, but she did go), and she was just very pleasant all day.
In the evening, she took off her clothes all of a sudden. We feared she had wet her pants, but she didn't. I asked her why she was naked and she answered, "Bath." She decided it was time for a bath and so just took off her own clothes and waited for us to figure it out or ask!
This weekend, too, she has finally started to refer to me as "Mama". Up until now, she just doesn't really call me anything at all, but something has finally "clicked" in her little brain and she's figured out that my name is Mama, and she calls me that. Earlier this evening I was quite annoyed about something (totally unrelated to her) and I raised my voice and she came over to me and said, "What do you want?" I asked her, "What?" and she said, "Mama." I think she was saying she wanted me to calm down. I got her onto my lap and we had a good cuddle and I did, indeed, calm down. It's hard to turn down a sensible plea from a little girl.
Then a bit after that she went out to the store with her Dad, while Miranda and I stayed at home. While she was in the car she was saying, "Mama, what do you want? I want Daddy." I think it was her way of saying she wanted to go with Daddy, or that she was going with Daddy and without Mama.
She did wet her pants tonight, though. She waits and waits and waits until it's too late. Not sure how to deal with that other than making her go regularly...
Progress and Frustrations
Zoë has been making some progress with communication and social skills. Her understanding of table manners is much better, due in part to the group snack time at her early intervention playgroup, and in part to the booster chair we're using for her, which has arms that "cue" her that she needs to stay put.
She also has shown some interest in other children her age, although it's somewhat limited at this point. Still, she went up to another little girl from her pre-school and smiled at her and was clearly happy to see her (and tried to zip up the little girl's jacket a little more, which is a little odd).
Her behavior in other ways, though, has been pretty frustrating lately. For one thing, she's decided that when she's at home, she can wee in her pants and it's okay. All she has to do is take off her clothes! And when I try to talk to her about doing a wee in her pants, she actually puts her fingers in her ears!
She also destroyed something precious of mine, which was a gift from my grandmother. It was a clock with a unicorn on it, and it was on the wall in Zoë's room. She managed to get hold of some permanent ink (I still haven't found out where she got it) and she actually climbed up onto the dresser in order to ruin the clock by smearing ink all over it.
That was yesterday. Today, she was playing with her sister, and took away little sister's plastic toy mouse, which the little sister absolutely loves. Little sister was upset. I told Zoë to give it back. Zoë ignored me and finally went away entirely, taking the mouse with her. I followed her and took it back and gave it to Miranda. Zoë was outraged.
Not long after that, Zoë came up to me with the mouse and a permanent marker which she'd apparently gotten off my desk at some point and hidden away for future mischief. She had colored all over the mouse with the permanent ink.
I got some of it off with nail polish remover, but unfortunately, some of the plastic came off, as well, and I had to stop. Miranda was very upset (she really loves that little mouse), and I was furious with Zoë.
I sent her to her room and she's been there for some time. She ate lunch in there (she has a small table and child-sized chair), and she wants to come out, but is refusing to use the toilet (I have asked if she'll go), so I put a nappy on her and have left her there. I can hear her quite well from my desk, and have a pretty good idea what she's up to in there. I honestly don't know what else to do with her. She doesn't understand, or if she does (she certainly did understand that it was her sister's mouse!), she's not paying attention.
Sometimes she can be the most frustrating child...
She's my Zoë!
When I tell Zoë I love her, I often add, "because you're my Zoë". I want her to understand that I love her just for herself.
I was having a little cuddle with Zoë just now, and I said to her, "I love you," and she answered, "I'm your Zoë".
I had no idea she was really paying attention all those times I said that, but apparently she was, and she's gotten to where she can actually say it, as well!
Good day today
Zoë's doing very well in therapy and playgroup. She had a good day today. When I said exactly that to her, she repeated, "Good day today."
Her tantrums are becoming much more managable. Instead of shrieking and flinging herself onto the floor and thrashing around, etc., she's now crying in protest but still fairly willing to cooperate with something that was outside of her expectations or plans.
For example, today at playgroup she wanted to go into the playroom after snack, as they usually do, but the therapists had planned outdoor activities for the kids, instead. Zoë was very clear that she wanted to go in the play room (she particularly enjoys the trampoline they have there), and she cried and complained, but she did come outside. Twice she ran to the door of the playroom and tried to get in, and both times she cried when told no and asked to come outside, but the important thing is she did not have a tantrum. She cried and complained, yes, but she still cooperated.
I also discussed Zoë's communication development with the head therapist and she was very pleased with the reports. Zoë's making good progress.
Big strides in speech/communication
Zoë's doing extremely well with the communication skills, and also with her social skills. It's subtle, but the signs are all there that she's actually starting to finally understand about communicating.
For example, she's been saying, "Hi," and "Hello," spontaneously and consistantly and correctly. She's also saying, "Bye," "Good night," and other common interpersonal type communications.
Her vocabulary isn't really increasing, but she's using the words she does know much more effectively and creatively. She's even sometimes speaking in complete sentences! For example, she said, "I want ice cream."
She's also been noticing other children, paying attention to what they do, and playing alongside them. She actually plays with her little sister, as in, direct interaction, and she plays with me and with her Dad more interactively than she has in the past.
I had a talk with the directing therapist at her playgroup about Zoë's progress, and she's very pleased with how things are going.
I can't tell you what a relief it is to see Zoë making such good, steady progress. I think our goal of getting her into prep (kindergarten, the grade immediately before first grade) in 2006 will be something that can be met.
Hewwo! I got shoes!
Zoë communication is improving greatly. Her vocabulary isn't really increasing hugely, but she's using words and phrases she does know in more meaningful and creative ways.
She's also starting to understand social relationships better, and to take an interest in other children and people around her.
Yesterday, Zoë saw a little boy and his mother at the speech therapist. She didn't know who they were, but when she saw them she said, "Hewwo!" as she went past. This is pretty new for her, spontaneously greeting people! She also said, "Bye!" to people at playgroup today, and she made eye contact as she did it, so it was a meaningful statement, and not just repeating.
The day before, she came up to me and announced, "I got shoes." I said, "You have shoes?" and she said, "I got shoes," and went and got her shoes and socks and brought them over to me. I said, "We're not going anywhere," but she insisted on putting on her socks (she did one quite well, actually) and shoes (got them on the wrong feet and was very frustrated that she couldn't put them on properly). I eventually helped her put them on correctly, but I told her several times that we weren't going anywhere.
She then said, "What do you want?" (which actually means, "I want something") and got me to follow her. She led me to the door and started to open it. She was quite put out when I told her we were not going out. She kept her shoes on, though, and when her Dad came in, she once again tried to get him to take her out somewhere.
Zoë is also showing quite an interest in reading. Nanna sent some puzzles for the two little girls, each with their name made out of puzzle pieces (one piece per letter). Zoë loves puzzles, and wanted to do both of them. I showed her the letters in Miranda's name and showed her that it said, "Miranda". Zoë's little face lit up and she said, "Aweeta!" (it used to be "Aida", like the opera, then it was "Adida", and now, apparently, it's "Aweeta" for some reason). She was quite happy by the fact that it was her sister's name, the same way she gets very excited by her own name written on things.
And I should have noted this earlier this week, but I was rather distracted. We went to a wedding on Saturday, an outdoor one with an outdoor reception following. Fairly casual as weddings go. Zoë explored everything she could find, the grounds, the house that is the community centre, the gift table (she wanted to open them, but of course we didn't let her). She managed to disrupt the service in a rather funny way (she bolted through the wedding party right next to the bride just as the celebrant said, "Accepting whatever life throws at you," heh), and later she danced with the bride (photo of that in the gallery). Several people commented that her antics were a good omen, and the bride laughed and said it was surely a fertility blessing.
So, generally speaking, our little fairychild is doing well in all respects. She's even got the toilet training almost entirely mastered, finally (once it "clicked" as to what was expected of her, she got it all very, very quickly).
Good day
Zoë had a really good session at early intervention playgroup today. She's really taken to one of the therapists there. I think maybe the lady reminds Zoë of her Nanna, as the therapist has a similar build and accent, similar way of moving, and blonde hair cut the same way Nanna wears hers. It's not a strong thing, but I see it, and I think maybe Zoë does, too. But, whatever it is, Zoë really likes Joyce and seems to have found a connection there.
Anyway, playgroup was good. Zoë was fairly cooperative and consented to do a few things she normally doesn't bother with (such as playing with the play-dough). She spoke fairly willingly when it was required, too. She asked for "chips" at snack time, and asked for "more chips" (at least, it certainly sounded like "more chips"), and then asked for a "bikkie". She stayed in her chair the whole time and was, overall, quite good about things.
There are three goals to work on with her.
1) Get her to cooperate with doing things she's not particularly motivated to do
2) Play turn-taking games with other children
3) Increase vocabulary and get her to use the words she does know more often
So, this seems pretty good so far. She's making good and steady progress in all areas, and that's about the best we can ask.
Tantrums and Queen Songs
We went out today and Zoë got a little difficult. I ended up holding her on my lap, which is normally impossible when she's having a tantrum, because she head-butts, she thrashes around, she kicks, etc. Today, though, I held her and although she was very difficult, she was actually controllable, to some extent.
Later, she managed to calm down fairly well. When we ended up going into the bookstore, she played a little in the children's department, and when we went to get coffee (at the in-store café), she was reasonably well behaved. She did eventually start to get restless, but she was actually pretty good.
This is good because she's learning how to manage herself, how to handle it when she's very frustrated and angry. Rather than just scream and act poorly, she's learning how to control it a little better.
On a far more amusing and less serious note, today in the shopping centre Zoë was singing. And what was she singing?
We will, we will, rock you... We will, we will, rock you...
She did learn this from a television commercial that's currently in rotation, but still, it's Queen. Uncle Greg will be so pleased...
Good girl
Zoë is doing extremely well with the toilet training. At home, she goes to the toilet without prompting, all by herself, and she hasn't had an accident for more than a week.
Yesterday we went out for the day and Zoë was dry all day long. She used the potty when we took her, and she was very good about all of it.
The next step is going to have to be taking her to preschool with panties instead of a Pull-Up. She does seem to understand not to go in panties, so hopefully if she's wearing panties, she'll just hold it (although, of course, they do have toilets there; I'm not sure she'd ask for help but she might go by herself).
She's also doing very well with the lanuage use. Saturday evening, Andrew put some ice in a drink. Zoë was very interested in this, and so he showed her the ice and let her put some into the glass. He taught her the word, "ice".
Sunday, when we were having lunch, she saw a clear jug full of icewater, and she said, "Ice!" It was quite unexpected and perfectly in context.
This is good. She's making excellent progress.
Potty!
Zoë has been going to the toilet by herself! She just seemed to have decided that she didn't need to ask for help or wait for us, and she's started going on her own. She does need help washing her hands and wiping her bottom, but she's just doing brilliantly now. I don't know exactly what happened in her little brain, but she's finally, finally got it. Whew.
Good day after a bad start
Zoë had a very bad morning. She was quite out of sorts. Refused a shower (and I do mean refused), got very angry and upset when her dad poured the cereal into the bowl (she's supposed to do that!), she then spilled her cereal and milk and proceeded to slip and fall smack on her back, and basically, she was just terribly unhappy about everything possible. I put her back to bed. I've learned that when she's having a "difficult" day, there's no point sending her to pre-school. She gets nothing out of it, and they have extra work.
Happily, she was in much better form after a couple hours' more sleep. She had speech therapy in the afternoon and had a really good session. She engaged in some meaningful conversation, she had some really good quality play with turn-taking and eye contact and verbal communication. It was really good.
Then, just now after dinner, she went into the toilet and pulled down her own pants and got on the potty all by herself! She didn't ask or anything, she just went in and got on the potty and did a wee! Hooray!
Tomorrow's intervention playgroup, so we'll see how she goes with that. She loved it last week. Hopefully, she'll be as excited about it this week, as well.
Lots to catch up on...
Our server was down for more than a week due to a combination of hacking and our service provider totally messing up what should have been a very simple bandwidth upgrade. It looks like stuff is mostly back to normal now, so I'll take this opportunity to catch up a little.
Tuesday was the first day of pre-school for Zoë. It was actually an orientation day, and she only got to stay for an hour, which got her nose out of joint.
Wednesday was her first day of early intervention playgroup. There are two other children in the group, both boys. Zoë had a splendid time! The interaction with the therapists is quite one-on-one, and they switch back and forth and move around the room to do different activities. There's an indoor "gym" type room with lots of climbing and crawling and such, an outdoor play area (where educational toys can be taken out), and an actual playground (although we didn't use it Wednesday).
After playgroup, the girls and I went for a bit of a shopping expedition and had lunch out as a special treat.
The day was a little too much for Zoë, especially after going back to preschool on Tuesday, and she was miserable cranky all evening and most of Thursday. Today, though, she seems to be in pretty good spirits.
She's also doing fairly well with the toilet training. She was dry all day yesterday except for a very small accident (I suspect she started to go, realized she shouldn't, and then held it, yay!). She's been dry all day today, too, and now asks to go to the potty fairly regularly. I think it will just be a matter of time before she gets into good habits in this respect.
And now I'm off to do a backup of this journal. The recent rigamarole with the server has reminded me to do that sort of thing a little more often...
Progress, finally!
We're finally making some progress with Zoë's potty training. The problem has been that she doesn't understand why she should go on the toilet instead of in her pants. The normal motivators don't work, because they rely on the child being able to actually understand what you're saying (e.g., "Only babies wear nappies" or "Big girls go on the potty, and you want to be a big girl, don't you?").
Well, we finally found a good motivator! Pull-Ups (disposable training pants) have changed their design so that instead of Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck, the girls' pants have Disney Princesses on them. Zoë was absolutely enchanted. She loves Disney, and she's a naturally "girly girl" (she loves all things girlish, including jewelry, powder, having her hair fussed over, dressing up, etc.). She really, REALLY wants to wear the "Princess Pants" (as we've come to call them).
The package has a picture of a little girl sitting on the potty and wearing the pants, so we used that picture as a reinforcement, to emphasize and communicate to Zoë. When she goes in her pants, she's not allowed to wear "Princess Pants", but has to wear a nappy. We show her the picture of the little girl and say, "Princess pants are for little girls who do a wee on the potty, not in their pants." Last night she had quite a tantrum because she had gone in her pants and wanted to wear the Pull-Ups, but wasn't allowed to do so.
Today, she's been very, very cooperative with going to the toilet. Every time I've asked, "Do you want to do a wee on the potty?", she's responded by trotting off to the bathroom and willingly gotten up on the toilet. When she goes, I make a big production of what a good girl she is and that she's wearing Princess Pants because she goes on the potty, and then I show her the picture of the little girl on the package.
This seems to be working. She's still not saying when she needs to go, but she doesn't say much ever (although most of the time she'll tell us verbally or with body language when she needs to have a bowel movement), so we'll just have to grow into that. For now, I don't mind just keeping an eye on the clock and taking her to the toilet regularly.
I'm so glad we've finally found something that makes her WANT to use the toilet. Without that spark, there's just no way to successfully train a kid.
Once I'm very comfortable with her toilet habits, we'll go back to the panties (which she also really liked, since all the panties we got for her were in bright colors or with interesting patterns) and see how we go.
Allow me to add, "Whew." Potty training someone small who just doesn't understand what you're saying is quite a task. We've been at this off and on for a little more than a year... I should have listened to the experts who recommend not even starting to toilet train a significantly Speech Delayed child until they're at least four!
Treat
Zoë often gets a treat when she uses the potty successfully. This evening, she pulled her father over to the cupboard where the treats are and said to him, "Poo potty. Pee pee potty."
Translation: Earlier today, I used the potty, so give me a treat now.
It's actually a pretty good leap of understanding that she can tell him about something she did much earlier in the day, and also that she'll use that to get a treat for herself. Her langauge use is improving constantly, sometimes in surprising ways.
I love you...
Today, Zoë came over to me and gave me a cuddle. I put my arm around her for a cuddle back and she said, "I love you" (not that clearly, but I knew what she was saying). I said, "Awww, that's nice. I love you, too." She then added, "I love you... DDD?"
Translation: I'm SOOO cute and I love you SOOO much, will you put on a movie (DVD) for me?
How can you resist that... (For the record, I didn't.)
General improvements
Zoë's doing remarkably well with the potty training these days. She hasn't done a poo in her panties at all, not even once, and she hasn't had a big wee accident for days. She has had a few occasions when she held it too long and started to go in her pants, but she notices and says, "Uh oh!"
She still isn't really asking to go. She'll sometimes say, "Pew! Yuck!" when she needs to do a poo (because I say that when changing a stinky nappy), and the "Uh oh," if she starts to wee in her pants, but most of the time we have to just guess when she probably needs to go and take her. Thankfully, she's not fighting about it (she used to complain if we put her on the potty when she didn't need to go). She seems to have figured out that using the toilet is just what you do when you're wearing panties, and she definitely likes wearing panties.
The other thing she's done lately is talk more and more regularly. She came up to me the other day with a ladybug hair tie and said, "Bug" (well, really, it was more like "boogh" the first time she said it). Then tonight, we were waiting at a red light as a train crossed and she piped up, "Train!" (Grandpop the railfan will be so proud).
I have high hopes that by the end of this school year, which she'll be repeating, she'll be ready to move on to the next grade. And with any luck, she'll be ready to wear panties to pre-school when it starts up in a few weeks.
Potty and panties
We're having mixed luck with having Zoë wear panties. She clearly loves wearing them, but she's had two very big accidents on the carpet (we're planning on renting a carpet cleaner and doing the floor anyway, but it's still pretty nasty when it happens).
When we're out, she seems to have no problem using the potty. In fact, she seems to like using "strange" toilets. But at home, it's very "hit or miss". We put her on the potty regularly to encourage her, but one of her big accidents happend not long after she'd been put on the toilet to do a wee. Perhaps she just needed to sit there longer? I honestly don't know.
We do seem to be making at least some progress, but it's very, very frustrating to say the least, probably for her as well as for us!
Potty
Zoë got some panties for Christmas. They had teddy bears on them, and she quite liked them. She said "teddy bear" and wanted to put them on. So we put them on her. She seemed to think it was a little weird, then she asked to have them off so she could go to bed (she wanted a nappy on, which is fair enough).
It soon became clear that she liked the panties and we thought maybe we could encourage her to use the potty if we just put her in the panties and dealt with it (since we haven't had much luck otherwise). She does seem to do well with routines and regular rules (such as "wash hands after you use the potty" or certain bath routines, etc.), so we thought that maybe "you can't wee in your panties" might work.
The first time she did wee in her pants, she made a BIG mess of it. She just let go utterly and it was pretty icky. We've been continuing to work on it, though, off and on, and today she was wearing panties and she had a little accident, but it was only a small one. It's almost as if she started to go and then realized she shouldn't, and stopped.
So, well, it looks promising. I admit I'm getting very frustrated with her. Teaching someone how to use the toilet when they don't understand language is quite difficult and I'm at a bit of a loss. I have read that it's not a good idea to try to potty train a speech-delayed or autistic child (and we still don't really know if Zoë is actually mildly autistic or if she's just developmentally delayed) until they're at least four years old. She's just turned four, and it seems she may finally be able to cooperate and comply.
She also says "potty" very well. She said it yesterday as "poT Ty", very clearly pronouncing the syllables and the sounds in the middle. Now if she'd only say that when she actually needs to use the potty, we'd be making some real progress...
Leave it alone!
Last night, Zoe was playing with something in a cute way, and her Dad wanted to see the toy she had. He went over to get it to look at it, and she put up a huge stink about it. She told him, and I quote, "Leave it alone!"
I guess it's sinking in slowly, eh?
Letters and Numerals
Zoë has been learning numbers and letters. Her dad sits down with her and draws a numeral or a letter and then she says what it is. So far she can only do a few of them, her favorites being O, U, Z, 7, 8, and 4, all pretty distinctive. She'll even have a go at drawing some of them (usually O or U), which is pretty good. Fortunately her name is quite short, so we might be able to get her to the point where she can write it by herself soon.
Conversations
Yesterday, Zoë came up to me and asked to use the potty, and the proceeded to use it. I was SO proud of her! Today she asked to go potty, but she had already started to go in her pants (not an unusual event). The good thing is that she IS asking to go, and she does seem to understand. She just doesn't always ask in time.
Last night I went in to run a bath for the kids and Zoë went up to her Dad while I was out of the room and told him she had "pee pee pants". He said, "Do you want clean pants?" and she said, "Stinky." He asked her again and she said, "Pants," a couple of times. She didn't seem to understand the question, but she was clear in what she was telling him, and in the fact that she knew she had wet pants.
He finally asked her, "What do you want?" and she said, "A DDD" (DVD). He said, "How about a bath?" and she said, "All clean. DDD." He finally suggested that they get the pee pee pants off of her, then have a bath, then watch a DVD. I don't know how much of it she understood, language-wise, but she obviously understood the gist of it, because she cooperated with him, and even sang a little song she made up about pee pee pants (hey, any kind of talk is good talk as far as we're concerned!).
I notice that lately she's been saying, "Do you want," (i.e., "what do you want") when she wants something. She came up to me just now and said that to me. I told her to wait (because she's just had something to eat and I know she was just wanting something nibbly), and she got quite annoyed, but when I came back later to ask her what she wanted, she was cooperative. (I'm trying to teach her what "wait" or "just a minute" means.)
Zoë's lately been very into talking about cows and cats and what they say. Cows say "Moo" and cats say "eeeoww". She also insists that a pig is a cow (she always calls a pig "cow"). I'm not sure, though, if she really thinks a pig is a cow or if it's a pre-shcooler type joke, based on the way she says it and the twinkle in her eye when she does...
Sign language
Zoë is starting to understand and use a bit of sign language. It's not formal sign (although when she gets into early intervention we may start using that), but just basic stuff that she understands.
She knows that pointing down means "get down". She will respond to it if I'm telling her to get down, and the other day her Dad was holding her and asked what she wanted and she pointed to the floor, very clearly telling him she wanted him to put her down!
She's also started pointing to things, and understanding that when we point, we're showing her something. This is actually something she's not really understood well up until now, but now she's doing it, herself.
Yesterday when we were out, I was pointing to some ducks on a little lake and she responded by pointing to the pigeons, which were much closer and more interesting to her at that moment. She did eventually look at the ducks and heard them doing that "duckchatter" that happy ducks do. Her Dad told her they were saying "quack quack quack" and when Zoë came back over to where I was, she announced to me, "kack kack kack" (which is Zoëspeak for what ducks say).
She's really, really getting it
Zoë seems to be understanding simple commands much better now. I've asked her simple things (such as, "Where are your shoes?") and she'll respond to the question or command. She knows phrases like, "Give that back," "Bring it to me," "Put it in the rubbish," and so forth. She also understands things such as "Wash hands," and "Let's clean our teeth," and "Let me brush your hair."
She's still not speaking a great deal, but the quality of her speech is improving. She's making connections on her own, without being taught.
For example, she saw a picture of a dog and said, "Dog." I agreed with her, and confirmed it was a dog. Then she grinned at me and said, "Cat." I'm not sure if she was making a joke (she does seem to be making jokes lately, believe it or not) or if she was associating dogs with cats. Either way, it's a great sign.
Then, yesterday, she saw a digital image of a teapot and she looked at it for a few moments and then said, "Milk." Andrew and I were both amazed at this. We've never told her that milk comes in a teapot, certainly, but she does know that you pour liquid from a teapot. I suppose in her mind, a teapot's not that different from a milk jug. In any event, that was completely unprompted and it was an image she had NEVER seen before!
We have an appointment tomorrow to meet with one of the early intervention centres. She's actually gotten an invitation to attend a specialty centre/school for autistic children (although she hasn't yet been determined to be actually autistic, she fits enough of the criteria that she'll do well at that school), but we're going to see if we can get her into early intervention over the summer break before the term starts at the other school, or see if maybe this intervention centre may have some sort of other program that would benefit Zoë more or in addition to the other school program.
Getting better all the time
Well, Zoë is showing progress all the time. Her speech is getting more expressive and she's saying things on her own, without prompting. She still doesn't talk very much, but when she does, it's in context and she's using sentences (two words, usually) that she's forming herself.
She's also catching on about not doing a poo in her pants, finally. She doesn't usually say she needs to go, but if we ask her if she needs to, she'll say no (usually she says, "All done," which is what we say when we're done on the potty). Sometimes we just take it upon ourselves to put her on the potty, based on her body language and other signs, and when we do she normally will cooperate. When we put her on the potty, she at least makes the effort to go. She's been accident-free for some time now.
We haven't even started any serious bladder training yet. We've had enough difficulty with the bowel training, so I'm going to just relax a while and go with it. I'm hoping that when she starts early intervention in a few months they'll be able to help me with that (they're aware of the difficulty of potty training speech disabled/autistic children).
Last night, she did something I didn't know she was actually capable of. She had her sister's doll, and Miranda didn't like it one bit. I told Zoë to give it back to her sister, and she actually did. I was very surprised, to say the least, and we praised her all over the place for being a good girl. This must be something she learned at pre-school (and thank heaven for pre-school).
And, miracle of miracles, she's started going to bed willingly. Her bedtime routine includes having her vitamin/iron supplements, then having her teeth brushed, and then sometimes she'll lie down on her little fold-out couch with a blanket for a while (sometimes falling asleep there), and sometimes she'll trot off to bed herself and climb in. Pretty amazing, to say the least!
She's still having the occasional tantrum when she's very bored, very tired, or very hungry, and she's still way behind in speech, of course, but all in all, there's a lot of visible (and audible) improvement.
She's getting it!
Zoë is doing very well with the potty training lately. She seems to have finally figured out about using the toilet, at least with respect to bowel movements (sometimes she'll also do a wee on the potty, but I don't think she's quite ready to do that all the time).
Tonight, Miranda was stinky and Andrew said to her, "You need clean pants." Zoë piped up, "Poo pants," so she does seem to understand. She also went to sit on the potty herself, although she didn't do a poo. So the connection is being made finally. Whew.
Earlier today, I was working on the computer and I was searching for a file. In WindowsXP, a little animated dog comes up while you're searching (dunno why, but it's kinda cute). Zoë saw it and said, "Cat." I said, "No, it's a dog." She said, "Dog." I was very enthusiastic and told her how clever she was and showed her how the dog wags its tail. She said "dog" several times and seemed as pleased with herself and I was with her that she recognized it.
The thing here is that she applied the word to something she'd never seen before. That she thought it was a cat at first is okay (it's a cartoon, after all), but she knew it was an animal and she called it by a word. Big step there.
We're also assured that she will definitely have a place at the early intervention centre for first term of next year (Feb 04). How much she'll have and what it will entail we don't know. She certainly needs to continue working on her speech (although that's going very well, even if she wasn't very cooperative with her therapist last visit), and she definitely needs some socialization skills. She's mostly indifferent to most people, in a way that needs some attention.
So, all in all, Zoë's doing well and things are looking pretty good where she's concerned.
Good Progress
Zoë's making very good progress with respect to her speech skills. She's talking a lot more, seems to be understanding more. She seems to finally realize that speech is important and useful, and that's a big step.
She's also doing better with the toilet training. She's been doing well all week, pretty much, although today was difficult because she's got a bit of diarrhea. She seems to be finally understanding, though.
I've read in several sources that it's particularly difficult to toilet train a speech delayed or autistic child because of the communication barrier. You can't really give them meaningful instruction, so they have to learn it by trial and error and that can be difficult.
Anyway, Zoë is doing well, overall, and has made a great deal of progress in the past six months.
More Progress!
Yesterday at speech therapy Zoë actually talked to her speech therapist. It's the first time she ever has, although she's certainly interacted with her on various levels. The therapist noticed a marked improvement in Zoë's communication, as well.
She has started to ask for things by name! She asked for a bath, for example, and she actually asked to go to the potty a couple of nights ago (she didn't appear to need to go, so she might just have wanted the treat that goes along with going potty, but at this point anything that gets her there is a good thing as far as I'm concerned).
And then, today when I picked her up from pre-school, Zoë suddenly decided she wanted to use one of the potties there! They're small, child-sized, and in little open stalls. Zoë has seen them for months and never taken any interest at all, and suddenly today she wants to go potty on one. Naturally, I helped her do that. She, in typical Zoë fashion, had to take her clothes off entirely (no idea why she does this, but there you go). She didn't do much (if anything) on the potty, but she was happy to go.
This, I must say, is encouraging. Particularly after last week, when she was very difficult all week. She really pushes me to my limits sometimes... It seems that maybe she was out of sorts because she was on the verge of a breakthrough or a new developmental stage. I hope so, anyway. For now, I can't help but be encouraged by this interest in the potty and her improvements in understanding and in speech.
Various topics
We went out to have dinner with Auntie Lori (my best friend) and her two boys, Isaac (uhm, nine, I think) and Jeremy (who I think is seven). Zoë was reasonably good, I suppose. She was a bit cranky but after she ate she was better. We were seated at a big table in the corner so the kids could be a little bit adventursome without bothering all the other patrons. Zoë actually communicated with Auntie Lori and with the boys. She talked a little bit, but otherwise communicated with body language pretty clearly.
She's not actually indifferent to people. She just seems to figure that if she can't communicate, there's not much point trying. She knew that Auntie Lori would make the effort, of course, and Isaac is a sweet little soul (he was also playing with Miranda and holding her, it was pretty sweet) who talked to her and was very gentle and nice to her, so she responded to him.
She did poo in her pants at some point during the meal. She's just not getting this whole toilet thing. If we put her on the potty, she'll make the effort, and that's good. She knows what to do there. When she's done a a poo in her pants, she knows that, too, and knows we're not happy about it. But she can't seem to make the connection between feeling the need to go and asking to go. It's frustrating for all of us.
I've got a book on toilet training autistic persons and people with related disabilities, but so far it hasn't had much practical advice. Most of the techniques would only work with an older child who can understand pictures a little better than Zoë does.
I think the biggest problem here is -- once again -- the lack of communication. I think she does know when she's about to go, or at least when she's starting to go (she sometimes indicates it in various ways, but I have to be paying attention directly to her in order to notice it because she doesn't speak up at all or try to get my attention. For a while, she was deliberately going into another room to poo in her pants, so I know she has some understanding of the bodily functions. She may or may not be able to control them at this point (I think she probably could if she tried, but I don't know for sure). If she was just able to understand to say something or to pull me toward the bathroom or something, anything. But, unfortunately, that just isn't there, and so it's always hit or miss and very frustrating for everyone.
Her speech and understanding is improving, thankfully, and those bridges are being formed in her brain. I try to be patient and know that she doesn't understand, not because she's not smart (she is quite smart, that's very clear), but because without the language, she just doesn't get it. It's all quite difficult sometimes, for everyone.
More talking
I wouldn't say Zoë's speech has improved in quantity (she's still fairly non-verbal), but it seems to be improving in quality. She's spontaneously said a few words and phrases that I've never heard her say before, and today she used a full sentence, and she said it three times, so I know it wasn't a fluke.
The words I've heard her use are "sneakers" (that oh-so-American phrase that I use to describe her shoes) and "got it" (when reaching into the bottom of a bag of chips), although of course, that's more of a phrase than a word.
This morning, we went into the kitchen first thing and I said to her, "What do you want?" and she answered, "Want to eat." I said, "You want to eat?" and she said it again. I told her that was good talking and she said it again a little later. She also repeated "milk" when I said it (she wanted corn flakes to eat).
Oh, and speaking of corn flakes, I've taught her how to drink the milk out of the cereal bowl. It's not very good manners, really, but it gets the job done, she gets a better breakfast, and the milk doesn't go to waste, so there you go.
Talking talking talking...
I am really amazed at the improvement in Zoë's speech. Today she spontaneously asked me for cheese on toast (well, she just said "toast" and then "eat" but I know what she wants when she says toast). Yesterday, I asked her if she was hungry and she answered, "Eat."
She's saying all kinds of things I didn't know she knew how to say. It's like some switch has been flipped in her brain!
Good talking!
Well, last week Zoë's tapes/CDs from Baby Bumblebee arrived. It took her a little while to work out the "game", which is to repeat the words, and now she loves them and plays along.
And the change has been remarkable. In a matter of a few days, she's started voluntarily repeating things people say to her, and she's been spontaneously speaking on her own! I'm genuinely amazed.
Tonight she said, "ungy eat eat" which is Zoëspeak for "Hungry, eat, eat,". She's never said "eat" before to the best of my memory, although we use the word all the time. She's also far more willing to say things like "toast" or "cat". Tonight she spontaneously said, "got it." I'm really, really pleased and encouraged.
The only drawback has been that she's been very cranky for the past few days. I think this is because she's starting to do new things, things that are somewhat difficult for her (language comprehension and expression are just not things she easily gets, poor kid). She seems to be a little extra tired, too (which contributes to the crankiness, of course).
I'm absolutely rapt about this development (well, not about the crankiness, heh). I can hardly believe the change in her attitude and her apparent willingness to talk.
Communication
Well, Zoë's not really talking any great deal more, but she seems to be understanding a lot better, and that's actually a big help. When she understands a simple command like, "Wait," or "Let me help," it makes life so much more pleasant for everyone.
She did come out with a rather cute new phrase yesterday, though. We were having a cuddle and I was saying all the things I always say to her, things like, "I love you," "I'm so glad you're my little girl," etc. She was clearly enjoying it, giving me hugs and kisses, etc., and then she said, "I so cute."
She was prompting me to tell her she was cute. Heheh. She's said it a few more times now, as well. I say, "You're so cute," and she grins and says, "I so cute."
Tonight she was saying, "Zoë good girl," over and over. Earlier she had been scolded, and I think she was trying to tell us she was good or get us to tell her.
She has been caught lately deliberately knocking Miranda down. It's not a hard push or a hit or anything. Zoë just raises her arm across the baby's chest and pushes her off balance, or pushes the backs of her knees so she plops down. Miranda hasn't complained and I don't think it's mean spirited, but it's not really appropriate. Every time I catch Zoë doing it, she gets scolded for it (which, of course, she doesn't like). Perhaps this is why she was trying to convince us she's a good girl...
Counting!
Zoë is counting! She's been able to count to ten for a long time now, but I didn't know if she actually understood what she was doing, or if she was just reciting.
Well, just now she had a little toy and she was throwing it over her shoulder and counting each time she did it. She'd toss the thing, hear it land, and count, then do it again. Even when she accidentally threw it into the playcot and had to climb in to retrieve it, she remembered her place and continued when she got it and tossed it onto the floor!
Wow, I'm actually kind of stunned at the moment...
Conversation
Zoë has reached a point where I think she's had a breakthrough.
Earlier today she didn't want to eat her lunch, and because she was hungry, she was being beastly. To make a long story short, I ended up putting her in her bed because I thought she might be tired, as well (thinking she'd be more willing to eat when she got up). However, Ms. Zoë had other ideas, and got out of bed and stood by the door (which she can't open by herself) sobbing and occasionally pouding on it.
I described the situation to Andrew and said, "I wish you were here. I think this may call for a change of parent." He suggested he could call her. I thought that was probably a good idea. I went and got Zoë and gave her a cuddle and wiped her nose and face and then had Andrew call.
Zoë not only recognized his voice, she actually had a conversation with him. She listened while he talked, and responded to what he said. She was telling him all about it. I didn't understand all of what she said (nor did he), but the gist of it was that she was telling him she was upset and why, and he suggested she have a drink and something to eat and calm down, after he asked if she was all right (to which she responded, "Zoë you all right," her usual phrase to calm herself). Then I suggested she say goodbye and she did, and we ended the call.
Somewhat surpisingly (for me, anyway), it worked beautifully. She went off to watch the movie I'd put on (which she had earlier refused to watch and cried about when I put it on) and then she decided she'd eat a cracker or two and have a drink of the juice still in her cup on the table. Now she's quite calmed down and seems to have gotten over whatever snit she was in earlier.
The thing here, though, is that she not only knew she was talking to her father, she was actually talking to her father, and having a rudimentary conversation. This is the first time I've seen this kind of interplay, although she does frequently respond to some questions, etc. This was a short but sustained interactive conversation. Real communication.
Mind you, she still has only a 30+ word/phrase vocabulary and she still misunderstands an awful lot of what we say to her (a simple, "Bring me your cup," earlier reduced her to tears), but the sparks are finally starting to leap across those synaptic barriers in her slightly mis-wired little brain.
This is good.
New word and other matters
Well, Zoë's got a new word that she uses regularly. Lately things are "nice". Last night at dinner she had some lemonade to drink and she took a sip and said, "Nice drink." She told me yesterday that her cereal was "nice", as well. Then, today, I was getting her dressed for preschool and I put on her sparkly pink sweater and said to her, "Do you like that?" and she cuddled into it and gave herself a little hug and said, "Nice!"
On other matters, she's rather stridently resisting using the toilet. I'm not sure why. She's just gotten it into her head that she does NOT want to go on the potty. I'm pretty sure she's aware when she's dirtying her pants, because she'll very deliberately go in another room or go out of my line of sight (and where I can't smell her) and then return when she's done. I'm pretty sure she's doing this specifically to avoid being noticed so she won't be placed on the potty.
Well, we've just gotten the book we ordered, which specializes in toilet training for autistic persons. I haven't had much chance to read it yet, but I hope it'll have some hints and strategies in it that will work. At the moment all I can think of is setting Zoë on a toilet schedule, but I don't know how well that will actually work (she's not a schedule sort of girl, if you get what I mean).
Anyway, with the speech and general behavior, she's doing quite well, and that's very encouraging.
Very good progress
We had a speech therapy session today. Zoë wasn't very cooperative as far as the actual exercises, but she was very, very communicative and friendly with Anna (the therapist). Anna commented on how dramatically Zoë's sociability and communication skills have improved, and I definitely agree. Her eye contact, alone, has improved about a thousand percent.
She's saying all kinds of things now. Not frequently, and her vocabulary is still quite small, but she seems to have caught on to the concept that communication is useful and helpful. It's like the light has come on.
Last night, she said, "Yum!" when I gave her cheese on toast for dinner. She also spontaneously said, "pussycat" when she saw me petting the cat. She's also (and this is a big step) learned what we mean by telling her to "say" something. We'll say, "Say bye," and she'll do just that (when she feels like cooperating).
It's not so much the specific words that she's saying, but more that she seems to finally understand the purpose of speech, and even when she's not actually talking, she's very communicative in other ways.
Her temper tantrums have also noticibly lessened, which is such a relief. She can still be as stubborn as a goat, but the thrashing around and screaming and so forth has gone to a minimum. Now when she's angry she'll sometimes sit down on the floor and kick her feet a bit and cry, but it's a gentle breeze compared to the hurricane she used to have. I don't know if this is because she's so much better at communicating and understanding us, or if she's just matured somewhat and gotten past that stage, or if it's the vitamins she's been taking, or some of all of the above. Whatever it is, I'm happy for it.
So the outlook for Zoë is looking very, very good. Her social skills have improved in direct response to her communication skills improving (which is precisely what I always thought would happen).
Hearing Test and some Interesting Information
Zoë had he |