Bits of paper
Zoë is still making very clever paper sculptures, but lately she's taken to cutting out dozens of bits of paper and wadding them up and ... I don't know. She has a collection of them, and she won't tell me quite what she imagines it to be, but I think maybe it's a bug kingdom or something along those lines.
And while we applaud and appreciate her creativity and like to encourage it, we're getting pretty tired of there being bits of paper all over the house...
School and cats and changes
Well, a great deal has been going on. Here's a recap.
Zoë started in an integration programme at one of the smaller primary schools near her specialty school. She has two other children from her group with her (both boys), and two teachers, so it's a very good student to teacher ratio! The kids are under constant supervision (even on the playground). Zoë seems to be really enjoying the new school, which has free range chickens and a science room with reptiles and a human skeleton, among other things. She's also still participating in the "Girl's Friendship Group" run by the speech therapist (she goes back to her specialty school for that) and she's having swimming lessons every other week still, except now it's with the two boys in her integration group and the teachers, rather than with her other, bigger group. (Hope that made sense...)
In other news, we've moved house. Zoë says she likes "our new home". She was somewhat unsettled at first, as were we all, but she seems to have gotten most of it sorted out now. The good thing is that her bus comes later in the morning and it comes home earlier in the afternoon. This is good for her, but for me it makes the schedule a bit tight in the afternoon, as I now have to drive Miranda to school and I have to be very quick to get home in time to meet the bus!
In more sad news, Zoë's grandparents' cat died over the weekend. It was quite an elderly cat, and she was quite unwell and in a lot of pain, but it was still sad, as it always is, to lose a beloved pet. Zoë was quite deeply affected, though we didn't know just how deeply at first.
When we told her that Miffy had died, Zoë was very sad and immediately went to find our cat and pet her and make sure she had food and water and was well. We assured Zoë that Missycat is fine and healthy and will probably be around for some years to come. We also had a talk (as we always do when the subject arises) about how everything living eventually dies, and that this is part of the natural cycle of life.
On the weekend, we went over to the grandparents' house and Zoë was there for a while and then suddenly it hit her that there was no Miffy there. She started to look for her, almost frantically. Then she started to cry and was saying, "But there is no Miffy here! What have you done with Miffy? I want to pet her!"
Nanna gave Zoë a big cuddle and told her it was okay to be sad and to cry, and encouraged her to talk about happy memories of Miffy. Miranda joined in the conversation, and we were all talking about Miffy and what a nice cat she was and how we would miss her, but that she had a long, happy life.
We were somewhat surprised that Zoë took it as hard as she did, but she seems to have weathered the upset, as well as the move.
Toothy stuff
Zoë was complaining of a "hurty tooth". I had a look and there was what appeared to be a huge hole in one of her upper teeth. It looked like the filling had fallen out to me. Naturally, this happened over the holidays, so it's hard to find a dentist, and our family dentist is always booked weeks in advance, anyway. We did manage to get a local dentist who could see her and was good with children, and I took her there yesterday.
Turns out she did lose a filling, but not only that, she's got a lot of other small but growing cavities. Ugh. We're very conscientious about brushing teeth around here, honestly! We also limit sweets and so forth, but it seems not to have been enough... I fear that Zoë has inherited my acidic mouth and my tendency to dental caries. I hope she doesn't also inherit the tendency to gum disease...
Anyway, while in the waiting room, Zoë also pointed to a spot on her lower jaw, on the side (opposite where the tooth with the missing filling is). That was the first I'd heard of it... Turns out she had an abscess! It was so swollen that it had spread into her jaw, and there was a very large lump on her gum! ACK!
The dentist drained the abscess (Zoë didn't like that much, but she was very brave throughout) and we got a prescription for antibiotics to take the infection down, and Zoë has an appointment with our family dentist for later this month (we needed time to get the infection out of the tooth). She may end up losing that tooth, which can cause problems later on when the others become loose and/or the adult teeth grow in, but perhaps when the infection is gone there might be some other option other than extraction. She also got a temporary filling in the tooth that had lost the filling, and that will be taken care of at our dentist.
So how does this happen? I have no idea. I suspect that the abscess came up rather suddenly, although, of course, it had been "brewing" for some time.
There was an amusing Zoë-ism at the dentist. The dentist seeing her was a woman, who told Zoë her name and that she works with children a lot. This pleased Zoë, who was extremely cooperative and very brave, as noted. Later, another dentist came in to offer another opinion and provide the antibiotic prescription. He was a big, swarthy-skinned bloke with a beard. He came in and said hello and Zoë sat up and looked at him and demanded, "Are you a kid dentist?" He laughed and answered, "I work with children a lot, yes." She responded, "Okay," and lay back in the chair again. (You've gotta sort these things out, you know.)
And later, when telling Nanna about the visit to the dentist, Nanna asked, "What did the dentist do?" expecting to hear about the quite uncomfortable draining of the abscess or similar. Zoë, however, answered, "The dentist helped me." This is exactly what we want to hear. Yes, there was a bit of pain involved, but it was helping. I'm glad Zoë understands that.
She did score a helium balloon, a bag of goodies (including toothpaste and a toothbrush), and while there I picked up a couple of electric toothbrushes for them (the dentist suggested that it might help), so as far as she was concerned, the trip was mostly for the purpose of acquiring goodies.
I know you love Christmas
Zoë had a splendid Christmas. She got what she wanted from Santa (a small Mushabelly dog, which she has named "Fred", to be the puppy of her big Mushabelly dog, who is called Spot and is Fred's dad, or so she informed us), and a lot of other stuff, too, including some new doll house furniture and people, books, a new blanket with ponies on it, the usual assortment of pretty dresses (Nanna, you see, has three sons...), new building magnets, a Lego kit to build what she called "Future Car" (i.e., it looks just like the Delorean in Back to the Future), and various other goodies. A favourite is the small shopping trolley which she built herself, and which she now uses to carry her many "pets" all around the house. We were also amused when we asked her if she knew what the toy lawnmower was. She replied, "It's a... a grass machine!" (and so it is, too).
She was quite well-behaved at mealtimes and in the company of visitors, and when she had enough of being around people, she just removed herself to a quieter part of the house (a tactic I also employ).
She is also convinced that today is the first day of Christmas, and tomorrow is the second day of Christmas and so on. I'm wondering what she's going to do when we actually get to Twelfth Night (we're not planning a costume ball or anything, although it would be fun to celebrate Twelfth Night, I think, with, as the tradition goes, "much merriment").
At one point during the day she came up to me and gave me a big cuddle and said to me, "You say, I know you love Christmas." And I did. And I do.
Grandpop needs a shave
Zoë walked up to her grandfather, who was sitting without a shirt on a hot day (this is not a common practice for him). She looked at him and then rubbed the hair on his shoulder and said, "You got hair like Dad!" (She was referring specifically to having body hair; in fact her dad doesn't have hair on his shoulders, but he is pretty hairy.)
Grandpop agreed that he is, indeed, hairy. Zoë continued, "You need to shave?" Grandpop laughed and said, "No, not there." Zoë grinned and said, "Just your face?" to which Grandpop agreed. Just his face.
I later pointed out that Dad has hair all over his face, too. Zoë found this quite amusing, and she didn't suggest that Dad should shave his face (she's not at all impressed with pictures of him beardless!).
Happy Birthday Party
 Zoë's birthday party went well, especially considering that all of the children present were on the autism spectrum (with the exception of Miranda). By the end of it, we had a few kids who were showing signs of being overstimulated or overwhelmed, but nobody got into a fight, had a meltdown, or otherwise misbehaved. A couple of the boys decided not to get their faces painted (which was okay with me), and one young man kept leaving the party room to sit with his parents (which was also okay; he obviously needed the time out). Overall, it was noisy and lots of fun for little kids, and Zoë got all kinds of lovely presents, most of them pink (all the kids know for sure, Zoë loves PINK).
The photo, by the way, is Zoë's face painting choice. She wanted to be, and I quote, "a pink dog" but she didn't want whiskers. So that's the best that the very helpful and charming young lady who was looking after us managed, and Zoë was happy with it, so, well, there you go. A pink, whiskerless dog!
Where did eight years go?
Today is Zoë's eighth birthday. Yesterday, she had a party at school, tomorrow she's having a party at McDonald's (with the same exact kids who were at the school party, plus Miranda). Today, being election day (which is why we didn't schedule the party for today), we're having a bit of a rest, but we'll be filling goody bags for the party at some point.
She got to go out on Thursday and pick out a present for herself (from the school/teachers), and she chose a Mushabelly puppy. The teachers were surprised she didn't choose the pig, which is bright pink, but she wanted the puppy (she's a big "dog person", which is a shame, as we haven't got a dog and really don't have the means to have one and won't for an indefinite period of time).
Eight years ago at this time, I was trying to decide if I should go to the hospital. I wish I hadn't gone when I did, actually. I ended up being there for hours and hours, and because they gave me an epidural early on (didn't want one, but it was medically indicated because Zoë was breech), I wasn't even able to get up and move around. Feh. And she was born breech, too, we had the entire staff in to watch, I'm pretty sure. It's pretty rare to see a breech birth these days!
Ah, well. My very little baby is eight years old today, and happily playing with her Mushabelly puppy (whose name is Spot, by the way), and with the Lego truck construction set her grandparents gave her a day early, and fighting with her sister (because that's just what they do). Happy birthday to Zoë! Hip hip hooray!
The Beatles
I wrote before about sitting Zoë down with a headset to listen to The Beatles. Specifically, it was "Love You To", which, if you're not familiar, is on the Revolver album and it's one of George Harrison's Indian influenced pieces, with sitar and other Indian instruments (it's also in the very odd 5/4 time, just for those who might be interested).
She was quite impressed with that song (which was actually on a loop) and said, "That's a good sound." (And I agree, it is.)
Today I was listening to music and she wanted a listen, and so I put on "Within You Without You", which is on Sgt. Pepper and is also one of George's "buckets of curry" (as one reviewer irreverently called these Indian influenced songs).
When it started to play she said, "The Beatles?" and I said, "Yes!" quite enthusiastically. I don't know if she remembered the sound from before or if she was just reading it from the screen, but either way I was pleased. She listened to the entire song (which is a fairly long one, over five minutes) and then turned to me and nodded sagely, as if to say, "Yeah... that's good..."
That's my girl, right there.
I still need to make up a compilation CD of Indian and Indian influenced music for her. I've actually got a fair bit of it around...
Swimming
Today Zoë's school had a "staff development day", so Zoë was home. I had promised her a few days ago that we'd go to the pool for a swim today, so last night she put out clothes for the morning: Jeans, her favourite pink top, and her swimsuit (I put out socks and clean underwear). This morning when I told her to get dressed so she could walk with us to Miranda's school, Zoë got dressed with her swimsuit on under her clothes, and she even put her clean knickers into the swim bag!
We took Miranda to school, then we went out later and had lunch and did a bit of shopping, and then, yes, we went for a swim, and we had quite a long one. She is amazing in the water! She's absolutely fearless! She's not reckless, but she just has no fear of the water at all. If she goes under the water she just bobs back up and she's fine (not that I let her go under the water too much). She swam with me all the way down to the deep end of the olympic size pool, and we had some exercise on the bar on the side of the pool on the way back, and then we went for a longer swim in the smaller "rock pool" they have (much warmer, natural contours, really pleasant to swim in, I think). She scooted around in the water with her pool noodle and just had a great time.
It's really good to see her doing stuff like this, and talking about it, even!
That's my girl!
I was listening to The Beatles, to Revolver, with headphones, while watching a colourful interactive visual program that reacts to the music (it can be quite trippy, which works really well with an album like Revolver).
In particular, I was listening to George Harrison's "Love You To", which has a lot of sitar in it and is... well... trippy. I put it on repeat because I was enjoying watching the way the visualsations reacted with it and, well, George is my favourite Beatle and I really like the sitar.
Zoë came over and wanted to listen, so I put the headphones on her. She watched the screen intently and when the song finished she said, "Wow. That's a good sound!"
She ended up sitting in my chair for about half an hour with the song on a repeating loop (she likes repeating loops, so it's okay), watching the visualisations...
I'm going to have to get a collection of some of my better sitar music (yes, I have a pretty good collection, some of it The Beatles and some of it others like Anoushka or Ravi Shankar) and let her sit down and listen to it all.
She's right. It is a good sound.
Cricket in the Garden
A few weeks ago, Zoë''s class went to a local pet store and bought a cricket to be a classroom pet. They looked after it and fed it (carrots, according to Zoë) and so on. The other day I thought of the cricket and asked Zoë about it.
Me: Do you still have the cricket at school?
Zoë: No. Not in a cage.
Me: What happened to it?
Zoë: Is in a garden.
Me: Oh, did you put the criket out in the garden? (Now, when I said "you", I meant a collective "you", as in, the class.)
Zoë: No.
Me: How did the cricket get into the garden?
Zoë: Teacher put it there.
Note to self: In future, be more specific with the pronouns.
No, I didn't!
Zoë sat in her room on the weekend and pulled out the entire contents of a box of tissues. I have no idea why (other than it's actually kind of fun). When her father saw what she had done he said, "Zoë! Why did you do this?!" and she said, "I didn't." He said, "Yes, you did!" She said, "No, I didn't. My hands did it."
I don't know if that's her way of saying she couldn't stop herself or if she kind of sees herself that way (different body parts are autonomous?) or if it was just a clever kind of lie, but it did make me laugh. Which, of course, let her know she'd said something clever, so later, when she was speaking very rudely to her father and she was scolded for it, she said, "No, it wasn't me! It was my hands!" (No, that didn't wash with us; I think even she understood the complete illogic of saying it, because she didn't persist with it.)
It does give new meaning to the phrase, "Talk to the hands," though, eh?
Itchy Lice
Zoë came home on Friday with a note that said that there were headlice going around in her group, and to please check her. I did. She had lice. We immediately went out and got the lice product we normally use, which kills both the lice and the nits and doesn't require fine tooth combing. I know about this product from the last time we had a problem with lice and I tried several before I got one that works the first time. So we did the treatment on her, and the next day I did the treatment on Miranda, just in case.
On Sunday, when I was combing Zoë's hair, she informed me that "Nits put tangles in my hair", which I thought was kind of funny. Yet another reason to get rid of them, eh?
On Monday, she went to school, along with the note we included about her having been treated for lice (which, apparently, the teachers never got). She scratched her head once and told them, "I want to get rid of itchy lice!" Teachers did a quick check and saw the (dead) nits. I get a call from the principle.
I did explain that we'd done the treatment on Friday night and that I take the whole lice thing extremely seriously, and that any nits left will be dead and can be just pulled out with the fingernails. Principle told me, "We're not supposed to do that." I answered, "No, I wasn't suggesting that you should, only that this is the way the product works. I didn't do a fine tooth combing because it's too hard to get her to stand still for very much of it."
In the end, I convinced the principle that Zoë was, indeed, safe to be around other children, and even though school policy is that they send them home immediately when/if a child is discovered to have lice/nits, it would be okay, but to please check Zo&eum;l's hair again when she came home. Which I did. And there were (dead) nits, of which I pulled out several with my fingernails (to make sure they were dead and the glue bond with the hair was broken, etc.).
I may do another treatment on this coming Friday, just to be sure. I mean, I am sure, but I might do it anyway. And with any luck Zoë will NOT go to school and tell them she has itchy lice that she wants to get rid of!
General catch-up post
I've been remiss, as I often am. I'll do an update now.
We took Zoë to the pediatrician a few weeks ago, and the doctor was very pleased with Zoë's progress. She did order a couple more tests for things (just to be on the safe side), but she told us that we don't need to come back unless we feel there's a problem for which Zoë needs to be seen!
As for those tests, one was a blood test (Zoë was very brave) and the other tested her urine. I was wondering how on earth I was going to get a urine sample, but it proved to be fairly straightforward. Zoë was quite amazed by having her wee in a jar! She kept saying "You got Zoë's wee!" and when Daddy and Zoë got to the lab for the testing, Zoë got hold of a "customer satisfaction form" and a pencil and sat down and wrote on the card: Zoe wee (naturally, I've kept the card).
The tests were all perfectly normal, by the way. She hasn't got any genetic or metabolic disorders. We knew this, but as the pediatrician says, it's better to check and be sure than to have the child suffer because we didn't check and she does have the problem.
Generally speaking, she's doing well, although as she develops more language, she's turning into a real smart alec. Her latest is to tell people to "be quiet!" when she doesn't want to listen, or telling people to "SSSH!" or, if she's being scolded, telling me, "No, not Zoë! Miranda!" (meaning: don't tell me off, tell off Miranda). It's actually quite rude and extremely frustrating for us. She has no sense at all that she should NOT be speaking to us that way. I keep telling her it's naughty and rude, so perhaps she'll eventually work it out. She'd better, that's all I can say!
In other matters, Zoë was infected with head lice, which she got from her sister (who got it from some random kid at school). Zoë has been very good and patient with letting me treat her hair, including sitting around for two hours with a plastic cap and medicated cream on her hair! She let me comb her hair with a fine tooth comb and everything, she was very good. She said "I have itchy nits" and "I have bugs in my hair" and "Nits are naughty!" so she very clearly understood what was making her itch!
School holidays are about 75% over (thank goodness). She goes back on Monday. She's really needed the rest, but now she's getting bored and therefore turning into a troublemaker. She's gotten into things she absolutely KNOWS she's supposed to leave alone, and she's frequently fighting with Miranda, much to my great annoyance.
So anyway, Zoë is doing well, growing properly, speech is developing slowly but definitely, and she's doing so well that she no longer needs to see her pediatrician (just our local family doctor for routine things). Oh, and she's got another wiggly tooth...
Goose Egg
Zoë has the most unfortunate habit of bonking her head! She's done it since she was a baby. She always had a bruise or two on her forehead when she was a toddler, and although in recent years it's gotten somewhat better (and she's got hair over her forehead now so any bruises don't show!), but she still has a tendency to bonk herself on the noggin.
On Friday of last week, she tripped coming in from the playground and smacked herself in the forehead. They took her to the infirmary right away and put ice on her forehead, but she was very, very subdued and quiet, and the teacher called me to bring her home. She felt that Zoë's demeanor was highly unusual (and it is!) and thought it was just best if I took her home instead of sending her home on the bus.
By the time I got there she had perked up a fair amount, but she had a BIG lump on her head. OUCH! I called the doctor's office and got her checked out, just in case. Doctor couldn't find anything that looked in any way suspicious, and he did give her a good going-over (checked her tummy, how her toes curled, looked in her nose, ears, eyes, etc.). He told us what to look for in the way of concussion and said to bring her back for a followup if we felt it was a good idea.
When they were done, Zoël said to him "You give me a lolly," in a fairly demanding tone of voice (this particular doctor keeps a jar of gummi bears, which I suspect are diabetic). The doctor said "That's not a very nice way to ask," and she tried it a few more ways before we suggested, "May I have a lolly, please?" and that did the trick.
She had no problems with the conk on the head othe than a very big, hard goose egg of a knot on her forehead.
Fish!
Last week, Zoë went on an excursion with her class. They went to the Melbourne Aquarium, which is pretty big and has some cool features. She was pretty tired when she got home, but she was apparently very impressed by the jellyfish, because she talked about them quite a bit. When I asked what other things she saw, she just said "Fish." I asked if she saw sharks and she said yes, but then I'd say "What else did you see?" and she'd say "Fish."
I guess that really does about sum up an aquarium, though...
Happy talk
Oh, dear, I've been very remiss in writing here lately. We had school holidays and all my concentration and free time went out the window for a couple of weeks, and I haven't gotten back in the groove.
Zoë is doing very, very well in all regards. Her comprehension has improved drastically, and she can understand most things we tell her now. She certainly can understand the story in most movies and books, so there's nothing wrong with her ability to "keep the plot" (sometimes that's an issue with some autistics; she seems to have no problem with it, though).
She's speaking spontaneously in full sentences, having conversations, it's wonderful to hear. Sometimes she talks so much we actually have to ask her to be quiet!
One thing she does that we're finding somewhat tiresome lately is that she gets into a "loop", so to speak. She'll say the same phrase over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... you get the idea. Generally, it's a phrase from a film or something similar, rather than just repeating herself. She doesn't do it all the time, just now and then. I'm not sure what triggers it, though I suspect tiredness plays a role. We're trying to find effective ways of getting her to stop. Not only is it very odd and socially inappropriate, it is, to be perfectly honest, annoying!
At the start of the new term, right after school holidays ended, the bus supervisor approached me to talk about Zoë having taken to screaming on the bus every day. A high-pitched shriek, apparently. It started right before holidays, and when she got back on the bus, she started it again. Nobody has a clue what this was about, but you can imagine it was upsetting to everyone on the bus!
So we made a sign for her, using her communication/picture board software. It has a picture of a child screaming and a circle with a diagonal line through it, and a picture of the bus, and in between there's a text box stating: No screaming, no shouting, no yelling. Zoë is quiet on the bus.
Andrew showed it to her in the morning during breakfast. Zoë was not happy about it. She kept covering up the bit that showed the "no screaming" part and kept saying "Zoë on the bus". When she came home I asked how it worked and apparently it worked perfectly! So well, in fact, that they took it inside and laminated it and they're going to keep it on the bus to remind her if she starts up being troublesome again.
That's one of the funny things about Zoë. If it's written down, she'll believe it. If it's on a sign, it must be true, and she'll obey it. This, by the way, is how we got her to stop taking all the socks out of the sock drawer and playing with them (she was using them to make a sort of nest for her animal toys). I asked her several times to leave the socks alone, and finally Andrew said "Let's make a sign," so we drew one with the circle and diagonal line over a pair of socks, and the words "Socks stay in the drawer". We then put it in the actual drawer, so when she went to rummage through, she found the sign. And it worked. If it's written, it must be obeyed.
Zoë has become a real pleasure to take out. Her behavior is usually excellent these days. There was a time not so long ago when we had to be extremely careful where we went, because we never knew if Zoë would cooperate or not, and a meltdown in a crowded restaurant is not fun to deal with for us or the other diners! Now, though, we can take her almost anywher and she's fine (unless she's particularly tired or hungry, but all kids and most adults have that, as well).
She's also started the integration program she goes to. Once a week, she and some of her classmates go to a local primary school for a few hours. They do some shared work and mingle with the other kids, under the watchful eye of two of the special education teachers. Personally, I worry about this a bit, because I know firsthand how absolutely mean and downright nasty children can be to anyone who's at all different, but the special education teachers know how to intervene as needed, and I would hope that the neurotypical kids have been appropriately briefed on the situation so they're better able to handle it. I do think that teaching kids that it's okay to be different and it's nothing to be afraid of is a good thing. I don't like the idea of my child being the target of the anti-different animosity. (Note: This is more to do with me than with her, of course.)
Well, that seems to be a fairly good catch-up. I need to set a timer or something to remind me to write!
Water baby
Zoë is home from school today due to a Staff Development Day (or whatever they call those now). Miranda's at school, though, so I had Zoë walk with us this morning and then Zoë and I went to the pool. I was interested to see how well she swims, as she's been having swimming lessons through school for a bit over a year now.
She's not a graceful swimmer, nor a strong one, but, gosh, the girl is really game! She swam, with a pool noodle and keeping close to the edge of the pool, all the way to the deep end of an olympic sized pool, and then swam back! We also did some basic exercises on the bar at the side of the pool and then we went to the little "rock pool" they have there. It's a lovely little pool with natural contours and a smooth gravel finish and lovely warm water.
Eventually, I asked her if she was getting hungry and she said, "Yes. Swimming all done."
She was a real pleasure to have with me today. During upcoming Easter break I think I'll have to take her to the pool again!
Tooth Fairy
Zoë came home today and told me she had a wiggly tooth. I hadn't noticed this one previously, but she certainly did have a wiggly tooth, one of the pointy ones on either side of the two from lower incisors. She kept fiddling with it, and I had a look but couldn't get it out.
Over the course of the afternoon, she got a tissue and fiddled with it (and made it bleed and showed me "Look, blood onna tissue!"), then she got out the half an apple left over from her lunch and had a bite because she's got it in her head that eating green apples is good for wiggly teeth, and she got blood on the apple (and told me about that, too). She got herself a drink of milk, no doubt remembering that the last time she had a tooth come out we gave her milk to drink (it supposedly helps stop the bleeding). Eventually, she went in her room and came out a little while later shouting, "A tooth came out! Put it under pillow for tooth fairy!"
She managed to work the tooth out all on her own, and she was wonderfully proud of herself, too. I had her get the tooth (which was already under her pillow) and put it in an envelope (this makes finding it easier for the Tooth Fairy, you see), and she put that back under her pillow with much excitement and the knowledge that the Tooth Fairy is going to bring her "a coin" in exchange (and since in Australia we've got $1 and $2 coins, it might actually even be worth something!).
Pirates and Princesses
Zoë was invited to a birthday party, the first she's attended. It was a "pirates and princesses" theme, and she went as a princess, mostly because we already had the dressups for that and we didn't for being a pirate. We helped her pick out a present (a pink jewellery box with a sequined unicorn on the top) and she helped wrap it, and she carried it in very proudly.
Pretty much all the kids in her class were there, and all the boys were pirates (naturally) and all the other girls were princesses. The little girl whose party it was is named Chelsea, and Chelsea's mother was dressed as a pirate, however. When Zoë saw her she said, "Hello, Captain Chelseamum!" which Andrew and I both thought was quite good. We stayed for a little while and then when we were fairly sure she'd be okay, we left for a while and came back to pick her up when the party was over.
When we came to get her, she was in such a happy mood! She had butterflies painted on her face and a little bag of goodies (no chocolate, I was happy to note). She said thank you and goodbye to Chelsea and to Captain Chelseamum and then as we were leaving, she called out, "Bye! See you next March!"
School Dresses
One of the little girls in Zoë's class this year has outgrown her school dresses (the plaid gingham ones; there isn't really an American equivalent, but they're ubiquitious here), and so her mum asked if we'd like them for Zoë. We did. Zoë was incredibly thrilled. She put on the "new" dress (new to her, anyway) and whirled around and said, "Look! I'm Chelsea and Rachael!"
What she meant was "I'm dressed like Chelsea and Rachael," as both the girls customarily wear dresses to school. Personally, I don't find dresses very practical for school, but maybe that's just me. Zoë is certainly pleased to be like her female schoolmates.
This is an interesting development, because it means she's paying attention to what other children are wearing.
She's also been paying attention to what they're eating, because her lunch menu has become much more varied lately. She's having all kinds of different sandwiches for lunch. Last year, she had ham or ham and cheese, always on a roll, every day. If we tried to vary it, she wouldn't eat it. This year she's having sandwiches as well as rolls, and she's having all kinds of different ones. Ham, cheese, egg salad, vegemite and cheese, peanut butter...
If only we could get her to eat vegetables...
Swimming
Zoë has a new set of bathers (swimsuit). She picked it herself. It's got Hi 5 on it, and it's two pieces with bottoms like shorts. She's been waiting impatiently for swimming day at school to wear it.
Today is Miranda's no-school day. She'll have Wednesdays off for the remainder of this month, and then go for the full week starting next month. So Nanna and I decided we'd go to the swimming pool and take Miranda with us.
This morning, Zoë had her own "pool bag" packed (bathers, towel, hairbrush, etc.). She insisted she had to take it. Her dad (who gets her ready in the mornings) told her it wasn't swimming day but she was determined that it was, so he let her take it to save a big fight. (We think that she overheard us talking about the pool last night and that's how she got it into her head.)
When she came home, she was carrying her pool bag. I said, "Did you have swimming today?" She said, with a somewhat annoyed expression on her face, "No." I said, "Well, Daddy tried to tell you..." to which she immediately responded, "SHH!!" and stormed off in a huff...
She did ask if she could go to the pool with Nanna and Grandpop and me. We'd already discussed it, and the next time her school has a "pupil-free day" (in a few weeks), we'll take her. So I said to her, "Next time you have a holiday, you can go to the pool with us." She gave me a huge hug and grinned and then said, "I don't wanna go school tomowwo. No school any more for Zoe!"
It seems she must really like the pool if she's willing to give up school to go swimming!
General update
Zoë seems to have finally settled into a routine at school. Her class is bigger than last year, with eight students and two teachers. Two of the other students are even girls, which is quite unusual in a school for autistic kids (since autism is much more unusual in girls). The routines this year are very different from last year, so it's just taken some time for her to sort it out in her mind.
She's speaking in spontaneous, complete sentences now. Examples:
"No, I want to stay with Nanna and Grandpop"
"I don't want a roll, I want a sandwich"
"I don't want ham, I want chicken sandwich"
She's also got a program at school on the computer where she tells about what she did on the weekend, by making a sentence with pictures and words. It's very clear that she understands the past tense (what did you do on the weekend) and she expresses it in sometimes detailed ways. For example:
"On the weekend I played with my toys. Rabbit, dog, and doll." (And she did, too.)
Her social skills are still pretty bad at times, but that's improving slowly. It's just something she has to learn by instruction and observation, and until fairly recently, she hasn't had any need or desire to observe social behaviors (and autistics are notorious for "not getting it" when it comes to social subtlety).
Anyway, she's doing well and settling in. When she gets home from school she's always very tired and fairly grumpy (fights with her little sister quite a bit), and just wants to have a drink, a bite to eat, and watch television!
Variety Club Christmas Party
Every year, The Variety Club hosts a very big Christmas party for disabled children. Zoë attended this party, along with her classmates. They went into the city on the bus and had a fantastic time.
It was a carnival theme, and Zoë was very animated about the "merry go wound". Turns out there were several merry-go-rounds and she rode them all. She also ate fairy floss (cotton candy in American dialect) and a hot dog, and she might have eaten some other sort of food that she just didn't tell us about. And she came home with a very big (and useful) canvas bag full of presents! One of them was a brand new Bratz doll, which she loves and which she introduced to her birthday dolly, when I suggested they could be friends. (I have to admit, I haven't been a fan of the Bratz dolls - I think they look like tarts - but this one is pretty cute. She's all dressed for bed, in pyjamas and a robe and slippers on her feet.)
The hardest part was trying to explain to Miranda why Zoë got to go to a carnival and came home with a bunch of presents. I think Miranda is starting to understand that Zoë is unusual (Miranda does know that Zoë doesn't talk very well and needs to have therapy to help her learn how). I just told Miranda that the party was for disabled children, and Miranda, of course, wanted to know what "disabled" means, so I told her it means people who have something they can't do as well as some other people, for example, they might be blind and can't see, or they might be deaf, or they might be unable to walk, or, as with Zoë, they might not be able to talk.
Zoë, of course, doesn't care why she got to go to the big party. All she knows is there were merry-go-rounds and her schoolfriends and other kids were there and she got a hot dog and fairy floss and presents!
Birthday!
Zoë had a most splendid birthday. First, she had a party at school. Since her class is very small (five children total, with two teachers!), they have the ability to do a proper party. A party also gives the opportunity to teach a lot of social skills. I had spoken to the teacher earlier in the week to find out if any of the children had allergies or anything else I should know about, and to arrange for the party, and I turned up about 1:30 with party bags (complete with little toys and party hats, as well as the requisite assortment of lollies), and with a dozen or so cupcakes.
When I arrived, the kids and teachers were doing a dance, one of the "turn around and clap your hands and wiggle your hips" type deals that kids do. I joined in, which Zoë found very funny. I was also surpised to note that they'd hung up crepe paper streamers (pink and purple) and balloons, and there was a gift table!
Zoë was thrilled to have candles on the cupcakes and the "Happy Birthday dear Zoë" bit was exciting beyond belief, judging by the look on her face... Zoë got some lovely gifts, including a charming little dolly that she's been taking with her everywhere, and then the teacher suggested I take Zoë home a bit early, which I was happy to do, because it meant she could go with me to get her birthday cake (a banana cake from The Cheesecake Shop, which I can highly recommend).
At dinner, she got out the special "Happy Birthday" placemat that we have and use for birthdays (she loves that part of the birthday ritual), and ate all her dinner and then was very excited about the cake, since we had special candles that spelled out "Z O E 7" plus three more sparkly pink candles (that she chose). She blew out the candles as per standard ritual and had a bit of help cutting the cake, and was just thrilled with the whole thing (although she didn't eat the cake; she just knows she's supposed to have one, she doesn't actually like cake very much).
All in all, a brilliant day for Zoë. She went to bed a very happy girl who had a very happy birthday.
So very random
Today at the shopping centre, Zoë was wearing a pair of OshKosh blue denim overalls, an orange tshirt, and a pair of very pink, girly sneakers with sparklies on them. Her hair is currently about shoulder length, and she's got a fringe (bangs). While going up one escalator, a man coming down the other side asked, "Is that a boy or a girl?" When told it was a girl, he remarked, "Looks like a boy."
Uhm, okay. Whatever. But this makes me wonder a lot of stuff....
First, to what benefit is it for us to know that this bloke's opinion is that a girl in unisex clothing and pink sneakers looks like a boy? Is it to encourage us to dress her in pink tshirts when she wears the overalls? Or to grow her hair longer and tie it up with ribbons? Is it to persuade us to dress her up in something appropriately frilly so that random strangers on the escalator can instantly guess her gender at a glance? And why is it important for random strangers on the escalator to know her gender, anyway?
Secondly, why on earth should I care what Random Escalator Man thinks? I don't think she looks like a boy, especially, but then, I'm not into the whole "girls have to wear pink" thing (though my girls do wear pink sometimes, and dresses, and other girly things like polished fingernails).
Thirdly, why did Random Escalator Man feel the need to blurt out his opinion of my daughter's apparent gender as he saw it? I have a theory on this one.... He was momentarily confused by her mostly unisex appearance, and had to say it out loud to make himself feel better. Like, by saying she looked like a boy, he could sort it all out in his little mind and it excused his incorrect guess as to her actual gender. Or something.
I dunno. It's all pretty weird, and I've no intention of always dressing her to the expectations of random strangers. I know she's a girl, she knows she's a girl, everyone who matters knows she's a girl, and the very pink, very sparkly, very girly sneakers and shiny painted fingernails should be a dead giveaway, in any case.
Sock Gorilla and another visit from the Tooth Fairy
Zoë lost her second "wobbly tooth" tonight. I had to help a bit, but I barely had to do anything to get it out (in other words, I don't just go around yanking out children's teeth willy nilly). No doubt she'll go to school tomorrow and show her school friends the new gap. Apparently, they were all very interested with her previous lost tooth.
In other matters, Zoë made herself a... well, for lack of a better term, a puppet. It's made of a pair of dark socks which are held together with a clothes peg in a special way that Zoë arranged. To me, it looks like a butterfly, but she insists that it's a gorilla, and she's been playing with it for several days now, even taken it to school!
And the funniest bit is that when I picked up the "gorilla" and rearranged it a bit, put the peg back on a different way (because I, being ignorant, didn't know how to do it properly). Zoë took it from me and informed me that what I'd made was, in fact, an OWL (she wasn't eloquent about it, but it was clear that she was telling me it was an owl)!
We've decided to just let her have the pair of socks with the clothes peg until she gets tired of it (and she will, eventually; she always does). Imagination is a wonderful thing and its to be encouraged. If a pair of socks and a clothes peg can be a gorilla (or an owl, for that matter), we're okay with that.
Milestone: Lost tooth!
Zoë's wiggly teeth have been getting steadily more wiggly. Today, one of them was very, very loose, and it was bothering her. She kept fiddling with it (as you do), and she managed to twist it and make it bleed. I got a piece of clean gauze and got the tooth and pulled it out (stright up, rather than mucking it around the way she was), and then gave her the gauze to bite.
We put the tooth in an envelope to put under her pillow, and she spent about half an hour skipping around and showing her "tooth all gone" to everyone, and looking in the mirror.
She's settled down now, watching a DVD. I can't wait to see her reaction to the coin in the morning.
Teeth and school and so forth
Zoë has two loose teeth, both on the bottom on the front. She doesn't seem especially bothered by it, but I noticed it myself. Okay, "notice" isn't really the right word. I was actually looking for loose teeth, because she's nearly seven and it seems around time when she'd start getting them.
I told her she didn't have to worry, that her teeth will fall out and then she'll grow new ones, and we've even promised her that if she puts her teeth (once they fall out, of course) under her pillow, the tooth fairy will come and take them and leave money. (No idea what the going rate for teeth is these days; we're thinking of that which Aussies refer to as a "gold coin donation", that is, a $1 or $2 coin).
I don't think she'll actually believe that a real fairy came and took her tooth away, for what it's worth. She does have a vivid imagination, but she's pretty smart and it's not exactly rocket science to figure out that it's not really some random fairy leaving money under your pillow, you know? But it's a fun game, anyway, which is why we're playing it.
In other areas, she's doing well though she seems very tired much of the time. We're in the final term of school and it shows. Poor kid has been getting up at 6:30 in the morning all year to ride "the white bus" to school and she doesn't get home until 4:30 or so. She's made tremendous leaps in communication and behavior and general educational things (she's reading and doing simple maths now), and I think it's all catching up with her. As much as she loves school, I think the summer/Christmas break will be much appreciated (though I'm not so sure I'll appreciate it with the way the little girls bicker all the time, ugh).
Anyway. Loose teeth. Tired. Doing well. That about sums it up.
Monster House
Both little girls expressed a desire to see Monster House. We hadn't actually offered to take them to see it because I worried it might be too scary, but they were both very clear that they wanted to see it, scary or not. So we went to see it.
In 3D.
This was another concern, of course, that they'd be able and willing to keep on a pair of 3D glasses for a whole film, but it turned out to be perfectly fine. I'm getting ahead of myself, though.
First, we went to a cinema in a quite large suburban shopping centre that we've been to before. We were driving around looking for an advantageous parking spot and Andrew noted, "The cinema is over there," and Zoë must have been paying attention, because when we parked, we went to go into the shopping centre (we were early for the movie and wanted to get a few things from the shops), Zoë was quite adamant that we should "Go dat way!" when "dat way" was the general direction of the cinema.
Once we convinced her to come inside and assured her that we would, indeed, be going to the movie, she was okay. We got some fancy popcorn (from one of those popcorn vendors that has caramel, cheese, and other flavors), then we got some drinks from Starbuck's, and Zoë was able to communicate what she wanted (we asked her "hot or cold" and she said hot and we asked "caramel or vanilla" and she chose caramel, so she had a hot caramel milk).
When we went to the cinema she was very interested in the 3D glasses, which, by the way, are much more sophisticated than the strange paper ones with a green and a red lens. These are polarised and look very like normal sunglasses.
Zoë was very interested in the movie and didn't seem too upset or scared. I did keep a hand on her to comfort her and remind her that it was okay and just a movie, and a couple times I felt her jump during scenes where you're supposed to jump because something deliberately startling happens, but there were no worries (unlike The Hefalump Movie which upset her terribly when the baby hefalump couldn't find his mother!).
When the film was over, Zoë gathered up all the 3D glasses and said "I can take away the glasses," which was, of course correct. On the way out, we saw that The Nightmare Before Christmas is coming out in 3D and we're certainly going to see that one (we have the DVD of the film, though not in 3D, of course).
Movies, particularly 3D movies, are fun, it would seem.
School holidays, sisters, and this means war
It's school holidays and I'm here all alone with Zoë and Miranda. They're driving me insane. Miranda is the most stubborn creature on the planet and hasn't yet learned how to moderate that tendency. She has this awful habit of getting in Zoë's face and Miranda will not back off, Zoë keeps telling her to go away and Miranda refuses and eventually it turns into a big brawl. Arrrggghhh.
For the most part, Zoë has been all right. If Miranda wouldn't provoke her all the time, she'd be better.
Today, Zoë did sit down and put together a 3D multi-piece puzzle toy. It was a helicopter. After putting it together, she painted it. Then she put decals on it (I had to show her how; they were the kind you rub on with a pencil). She did really well, and I was very proud of her efforts, and it's clear she was, as well.
Unfortunately, the helicopter got broken in a brawl with her sister. *sigh* Took a while to calm her down after that. Mind you, the helicopter wouldn't have lasted long in any event, being put together out of poorly cut, cheap, thin balsa wood. Still, having it crushed only hours after it was finished was upsetting. (She's all right now, by the way, and happily playing a computer game.)
On other matters, the coin that I wrote about (the one she swallowed) still hasn't made an appearance, or, if it has, Zoë has either been unaware of it or she doesn't know how to tell me. I have been, uhm, keeping an eye on her, and I haven't seen any sign of passage. I'm not entirely sure what to do at this point. She seems to be perfectly fine, no unusual behavior or anything to indicate that she's stressed or unwell. I suppose we'll just have to take her to the doctor if things don't, uhm, move along on their own... but honestly, I don't know what they'd do other than order x-rays... (let's just hope that nature takes its course and it all sorts itself out without undue intervention).
So that's what's going on in Zoë's world today. And in mine, I can't wait for school to start up again... *sigh*
Farms and ponies and goats...
As it's currently school holidays, we've had a few outings planned for the little girls. Today we went to a local park that also has a sort of visitor farm, with various kinds of animals and things to do.
Zoë was excellent. She enjoyed petting the little goats and sheep, and, as it was feeding time, they came with bottles of lamb/kid formula and all the kids who were present got to have a bottle to feed the little animals. How cute those little goats are when they're drinking milk! Zoë was especially taken with the little goats that have long, floppy ears. She called them "dog-sheep" and I can see why; they look rather doglike (naturally, I did tell her that they were goats).
After a picnic lunch, the little girls got to have a pony ride. The queue was a bit long, but Zoë was really, really good while waiting. She got a little overly excited and pushed a bit now and then, but for the most part she was wonderful.
After the pony ride, we went on a tractor ride and saw a fair number of kangaroos and emus (no, they're not really farm animals, but some people do raise them for meat, leather, feathers, etc.). And after that, a visit to the guinea pig and rabbit barn, where Zoë held some guinea pigs (but none of the rabbits were keen to be caught).
Eventually, we sat down for an afternoon snack and we offered the kids another pony ride. Miranda said she wanted to have one, but Zoë kept saying, "No, thanks." The way this particular park works, the individual rides or special features are only done for certain time periods through the day, and we happened to be sitting at a picnic table by the pony ride area just as they were going to open again. When Zoë saw that Miranda was getting to get on the pony immediately (there was no queue at all!), Zoë was over there like a shot to have another ride! She just didn't want to have to stand in a long, boring queue again, and who could blame her for that?
There was also a nice, big playground area, and both kids had a good time running, climbing, and otherwise getting some good exercise. With any luck, they'll sleep well from their big day out!
What a good girl
We took the kids yesterday to a live performance. Their grandmother was playing the piano for an amateur production company who were doing Gilbert & Sullivan's "Trial by Jury". Prior to the G&S there were a number of individual performances by various members of the company.
In my opinion, the first bit was too long by far, and it was considerably boring. Lots of rather dreary singing pieces by light opera style sopranos, a trumpter who wasn't particularly good (that's being polite), a barbershop group that kept hitting seriously discordant notes and who did one of the worst renditions of a classic barbershop song that I've ever heard... Some of the performances were enjoyable, of course, but it was far, far too long.
Zoë took it like a real little trouper. Other than her tendency to sit in her chair with her legs open in a fairly obscene way (she was wearing a dress, which is why it was so very unbecoming), she was really good. She enjoyed some of the performances, especially when there was a guitar, and she liked the trumpet (she's not old enough to realise that the player wasn't that good). She was pretty bored, that was evident, but she was really, really good. No shouting, no crying, no getting up and down or misbehaving. She was amazing!
At the start, when it was quiet, Nanna came in to go to the piano and this little voice rang out in the hall, "Oh, look, there's Nanna! Nanna play a piano!" That, of course, got a good laugh and it was a charming ice-breaker.
After the first bit, we took the girls outside and let them have a little bit of a play on some playground equipment and we had a potty break and then went back. Zoë watched the operetta with some interest at first, as people were in costume and moving around, etc., but after a while she started to get really overwhelmed and she got up on her chair, pulled her knees up, and put her head down. She'd pop up when people would applaud, and when she saw it was still going on, she'd resume the "hiding" position. She was quiet, though, no complaining or crying, just hiding a bit, which I thought was fair enough (frankly, I felt rather overwhelmed, too, by that point).
The actual production wasn't very long, as it's only one act. It was about three-quarters of an hour, and afterward there was afternoon tea (Zoë had some punch that Nanna got for her).
And then, as if this wasn't enough, we went out to eat with an uncle, an auntie, the auntie's mum (an honorary nanna), a friend of the family (an honorary grandma), both grandparents, and, of course, Andrew and Miranda and myself.
Once again, Zoë was remarkably good. She ate her dinner, and then was reasonably patient waiting to go to the indoor playground, and when it was time to go, she came along without a fight.
The improvement in her behavior since she started school is just utterly astounding. It's not so long ago that we NEVER could have taken her to anything even remotely like this, let alone expected her to sit through all of that (and, honestly, if I'd realized how long and boring the first bit was, we might have turned up a bit later), and then, despite having gotten rather overwhelmed and very, very bored, she managed to go out to eat and behave perfectly wonderfully for that, too!
I'm just so amazed at her progress in the area of behavior. It's really, well, amazing!
Dentists
There's a dentist who specialises in children, and, specifically, in special needs kids. He's apparently very good with them, and has been seeing kids from Zoë's school for years. When we were given the opportunity to have her see him, we jumped at the chance, because I knew the school would prepare her (and the other kids) and so on.
A few weeks ago, Zoë saw the dentist and it was found that she had a fairly big cavity in one of her molars. Don't try to tell me that it's okay if they're just baby teeth, because you keep your molars for a long time (sometimes into your early teens), and walking around with a hole in your tooth for years isn't good for you, and it can damage the adult tooth that's lying below the surface, as well.
That being said, we were of course happy to have the dentist try to fill the tooth, and we got back the report that, yes, she'd had the tooth filled, and she was "very good" about it.
She continually surprises me, I'm happy to say.
Headaches and Trains
Saturday morning, Zoë came out and settled on the bean bag chair to watch cartoons, and suddenly threw up. She then went on to complain of having a "hurty head" and a "hurty tummy". We thought perhaps she had the virus that several family members have had, but as the day progressed, it became more and more clear that she had a migraine.
She's had what appears to be migraines since she was quite young, but this time she was actually able to tell us what hurt, and her behavior (lying down in a dark place, vomiting, headache, etc.) pretty much confirmed that it was a migraine.
Her dad is prone to them, his father, his mother, and back who knows how many generations. With Zoë's dad and grandfather, the migraine is triggered by stress and/or tiredness. I suspect that's the issue with Zoë, as well.
Sunday, she seemed reasonably well, and perked up further as the day went on. She ate breakfast, she ate lunch, and then she felt well enough to go out with Grandpop to a model railway show!
Next time we see her pediatrician (in early December) we'll bring this up and see if she has any recommendations. Honestly, I don't know what can be done other than giving Zoë pain reliever and trying to make her comfortable until the migraine passes, but you never know.
Runny nose
Zoë went to the park on an excursion, and ended up developing a severely runny nose (probably hay fever). When she came home, her little nose was all red and sore, as well as her lip, that's how severe the problem was.
When we read the notes in her communication book, the teacher noted that Zoë had exclaimed that, "My nose is melting!"
Apparently, they're putting that in the book they keep of funny things the kids say.
Brekkie at McDonald's and other things
Andrew had to go to the chemist early this morning to get a prescription filled. He took Zoë with him, and on the way they stopped at McDonald's for some breakfast. Zoë had hash browns and orange juice, and a bite of Andrew's bacon and egg muffin thingy.
When she got back, she told me about it. She volunteered it, even. Told me she ate hash browns from McDonald's with Daddy.
Later, she was watching a cooking show and said to me, "Woman is making pizza." I said, "Yes, that's right. She's making a pizza." Zoë then asked, "Can we make pizza?" I had to tell her that we can't right now because the pizza stone is broken (which is completely true), but I did praise her for her excellent talking and tell her that when we get a new pizza stone we'll make pizza again.
Zoë enjoys helping with the cooking process, and is very good at cutting up vegetables such as mushrooms (they're nice and soft) and she's pretty good at peeling some kinds of veggies, as well. This is one of the things they do at her school. Once or twice a week, they cook, and Zoë loves it. She particularly likes to make pizza, and loves to make pizza at home, too. We just need to find another decent pizza stone (the upscale shops charge an arm and a leg for the silly things!).
Oh, another amusing Zoëism... Like many parents, we often speak in code so the kids don't know what we're discussing. We use phrases like "projected celluloid" instead of saying "movies", just as one example. For "bath" we say "ablutions" (not because they don't like a bath, but because they do and once they hear the word, they won't be quiet until they're in the tub, even going so far as to completely strip and run around naked demanding a bath!).
Last night Andrew noted that Zoë hadn't had a morning shower and that, "Perhaps tomorrow night we might do ablutions." Zoë heard this and shouted, "A baf! An' a baf bom!" (We have one "special treat" bath bomb from Lush left, and that's what she was referring to.)
So we'll have to think of a new code word for "bath". Andrew's suggest the Greek word, baptiso. I suggested "submersion within cermic vessel". No matter what we do, she's going to work it out pretty quickly, I think...
The Falling Down Show
Zoë has a show she finds hilarious (the adults don't like the show, but if it comes on and nobody changes the channel, we sometimes let Zoë watch it). She calls it "The Falling Down Show". It's actually Australia's Funniest Home Videos, but you have to admit, "The Falling Down Show" is a pretty good name for it (and yes, it's exactly like America's Funniest Home Videos and probably every other "funniest home videos" show in the world).
Smart little cookie
Zoë is developing in leaps and bounds, as I've said. Her communication is just completely blossoming, it's wonderful to behold.
She's really gotten into doing the word find puzzles we make for her. It's about time to start putting the words in vertically (we've only done horizontal until now). I'm sure she'll work it out, she's a smart little kid.
Tonight she looked at the wall calender and announed, "May is all finished." She wanted us to turn the calender!
She also announced that on Friday we're going to McDonald's. As it happens, Friday is a day off for her (staff development or some such), and I just told her that it's a holiday because she understands that term. Apparently, on holidays we go to McDonald's, as she was very insistent about it. In fact, she was drinking from a T.G.I.Friday's cup and she picked it up and pointed to the word and said, "On FRIDAY. Friday we go to McDonald's. Friday." I may just take them to McDonald's after a brilliant display such as that.
Another amusing story is that tonight Zoë's dad was playing the silly old "coin in your ear" game with Miranda. Miranda, being clever but four years old, seemed a bit mystified by it, but enjoyed the game. Zoë observed it a couple of times and then said, "Give me coin," and held out her hand. Dad gave her the coin. Zoë looked at his ear and tugged on it and said, "Oh, what's that? It's a coin!" and held up the coin. She worked it out that quickly and that easily as to what the trick was, and promplty played along.
Her whole demeanor is so much improved now that she can communicate more effectively. She still has her bad days when she's just cranky and difficult, but for the most part, she's a happy, bright, cheerful little kid these days.
When I think back on the terror that she was at the age of three or so... the transformation is nearly miraculous. I used to worry a lot about her. I used see setbacks and I'd get very upset and fearful. These days, I'm infinitely less worried about her. She'll certainly continue to need special education and therapy (speech, occupational, etc.; we do not go for any sort of invasive "treatment" whatsoever, unless you consider iron and vitamin supplements to be invasive), but I have every confidence that she'll certainly be able to live independently, she may settle down with a longterm partner, she mgiht go to university, she might take up an apprenticeship or a trade, but no matter what she does, I'm no longer worried that she won't be able to care for herself or manage her life. She'll almost certainly always be eccentric and almost certainly a geek girl, but hey, welcome to the family...
Progress and more progress
Zoë is doing extremely well. She still has her bad and cranky days, of course, but the improvement in her demeanor, overall behavior, and speech is amazing.
Today she had a full conversation with her dad. He asked what she did at school, and she told him she played in the gym, she had music with Andrea (the music therapist), she answered him when he asked what songs they sang, she said she played outside and that they had a story. She was clearly understanding the questions and had the ability to answer them. Yay!
She's also understanding more complex commands, such as "get me some soap from the cupboard under the sink" or "go in the bathroom and wash your hands and then turn out the light".
Her speech is still quite idiosyncratic. Tonight she and her sister were supposed to be going to sleep (they have bunk beds in a shared room) and they kept playing and talking and such. After a couple of warnings, Andrew went in and said very sternly that they were to stop talking and go to sleep. Zoë responded, "No talk noise," either telling Miranda to be quiet or acknowledging that they wouldn't make any more noise talking (and they didn't after than third warning).
She's also lately shown great interest in doing that which I refer to as "pencil puzzle". These are quite popular in our household, with lots of sudoko, crossword, and other such puzzles around. Zoë has watched us do the puzzles and will sometimes sit down with a puzzle book and a pencil and write stuff in and erase it and write more (because, of course, the point of sudoko is to write things and erase them, hehe).
We finally decided to make her some simple "word hunt" puzzles. It took me showing her about three words, how to find the word at the bottom and circle it in the puzzle when you find it, and from then on, she had it. She did a couple yesterday, and two more today, and she really seems to enjoy it.
The only trouble is she has no idea how to use a mechanical pencil and she keeps getting leads all over the table as she ejects them... We're going to move her to a highlighter pen for her puzzles!
Not at all well
Zoë came home sick yesterday. She said she was cold, then said she was hot, then said she was cold and then she went to sleep for a while (remember, this iis a special school with a very small and highly specialized classroom, so she could curl up in a beanbag chair and do that, and they're very flexible so they let her rest a bit). Her teacher called me in the afternoon to tell me that Zoë was sick and asked if I wanted to pick her up or have them put her on the bus. By the time I could have gotten there, it would be time to leave, so I said just go ahead and put her on the bus. She apparently slept most of the way home.
Today she's been sleeping most of the day and she's got quite a high fever. Twice her fever has "broken" and covered her in sweat, which of course wakes her and she finds it disturbing. I've been letting her ride the fever out because it's how you fight infection, but the last time she woke up in a sweat, she was trembling all over and whimpering about being hot, so I thought I'd give her some relief and I gave her some Panadol to bring the fever down a bit.
Thankfully, she's still lying down and she's not running around all over the place the way she sometimes does when you give her pain reliever/fever reducer when she's sick. She must be sick enough that it's really wearing her out.
She's not coughing or sneezing or throwing up or anything (she did throw up last night, but I think it was a bit of a fluke), just has a high fever and seems very, very tired.
Poor kid. I don't think she'll be going to school tomorrow, either...
New boy
There's a new boy in Zoë's class. He's Indian, and he has brown skin, which Zoë apparently found very special and beautiful. I don't know precisely what she did, but I can just imagine her touching him and looking at his skin admiringly...
Doctor
I had to go to school to pick up Zoë yesterday. She wasn't well. She fell asleep a couple of times in the morning and slept through lunch. When I got there, she was participating in a group circle and didn't want to go home, but I thought it best to do so.
She cried most of the way home until I finally worked out what she was saying. She kept saying the name of her school and saying "Zoë's school" and a few other words I couldn't decipher. She was afraid that she wasn't going to be allowed to go back! Why she would think this I can't imagine, but she seemed to think I was taking her away for good, and she was so upset! When I told her that it was okay, that we were going to get some lunch (I gave her a choice; she chose McDonald's) and then go home because she was tired and not feeling well, and that she could go back to school again when she was well. She seemed to understand, and she settled down, and got very excited about going to McDonald's for lunch.
The problem appeared to be her right eye. Last week, she somehow scratched the eyelid (just on the top) and it was bothering her, so she kept rubbing her eye. She ended up giving herself an eye infection. Her eye was red, watery, the infection was making the whole area red and making her generally unwell (and tired).
I called out doctor and they were totally booked for Friday, so we took her to a local evening doctor clinic and got a prescription for antibiotics, which we got filled at a late-night chemist.
She's staying home today. Eye infections can be contagious, but more to the point, I think she needs to rest. She'll go back Monday and then Tuesday is a holiday (ANZAC day), and then go back on Wednesday again, but I expect the infection to be mostly under control by Monday, as it's already looking much better.
Parties and headaches
Zoë went to her uncle's birthday party yesterday. She was terribly excited about it, had been looking forward to it since the invitation arrived several weeks ago. She got to wear a new dress and tights (which she proclaimed to be "sock pants", a pretty good description!), and the party was at a restaurant that has an indoor playground.
She was very well behaved, over all. She was clear on what she wanted for lunch (chicken nuggets, no surprise, although she did appear to at least consider the sausages and chips), and the only real problem we had with her was the minor tantrum she threw when she realized she was going to have to eat her lunch before we'd let her go to the playground. She did eventually eat, but she was showing signs of being unwell. She kept lying down against me, covering her eyes, and saying "Ow" in reference to her head. A half of an adult pain reliever seemed to help considerably, and she did play on the playground and ended up having a very good time and being very nicely behaved all afternoon.
Unfortunely, when the pain reliever wore off in the evening, she was very unhappy, indeed, and clearly had a very bad headache. We gave her children's pain reliever and put her to bed and she ended up vomiting all over the bed and herself, poor kid. She kept saying "Sorry! Sorry!" and was very concerned about the teddy bear who had copped a lot of the vomit (he's fine, in case you, too, are concerned).
We got her cleaned up and gave her some more pain reliever (liquid this time instead of the children's tablets) and gave her clean pyjamas and got her settled on the big, soft, comfy bean bag chair with a pillow and her favorite feather quilt, and she fell asleep and slept all night.
In the morning, she got up and went to the cupboard and was found trying to get the children's pain reliever down for herself! (She didn't manage to get it; we keep it quite high and out of easy reach.)
She's now been lying down off and on all day, and seems to have further gastric disturbances (to put it politely).
Our first thought was that she suffers from migraines. She probably does, in fact, as we've seen signs of it for a long time, since she was about three. Migraines run in the family quite significantly, for at least four generations, and certainly it looked like a migraine yesterday (even the vomiting).
Today, though, I'm wondering if perhaps it might be some sort of viral thing, because I've never heard of having this much gastric trouble along with a migraine, and I believe that migraines that last for more than a day are fairly rare (I know it happens, but I don't think it's common; I'll have to investigate further).
Possibly the gastric issues are entirely coincidental and she did/does have a migraine, or possibly the chocolate she's been eating lately (small amounts, but with her it does become cumulative, as she appears to be somewhat allergic to the stuff) has finally caught up with her.
Next time we see her pediatrician, we're definitely going to mention the migraines (we're positive she gets those) and maybe ask a few questions about that. Nanna thinks we should take Zoë to the doctor she's been seeing for years, who does laser accupuncture (I know our insurance will cover acupuncture, but I don't know if laser is included; we'll find out when we call after the long holiday).
I'm just going to do more research on migraines and see just what is and isn't associated with them.
Moose and Rabbit
Zoë has two stuffed animals who have recently struck up some sort of relationship. She's had them both since she was quite small, but it's only recently that they seem to have become a team.
One is a moose (named, creatively, Moose) and the other is The Little Nut Brown Hare (from the book, Guess How Much I Love You), who is known generally as "Rabbit" no matter how often we tell her it's the Little Nut Brown Hare.
Anyway, Moose and Rabbit always have to be together now. If she has one, she has to have the other. I've overheard her playing with them, and it seems that one is the daddy of the other, but I'm not sure which (I think Rabbit is probably the child).
And just how a moose ends up being the parent of a rabbit we're not sure...
School holidays
I have, again, been remiss in updating this blog (sorry, Shazza). It's been school holidays for the past two weeks, and I've had my hands full trying to keep the kids occupied and out of trouble. When Zoë gets bored, she gets into things, many times things she shouldn't be. It's been a bit of a pain, to say the least. A restless Zoë is not a pleasant Zoë.
Anyway, she's doing very well. She's reading, for sure. We can't tell how much, but she's absolutely reading some words and making it clear that she understands them. She's also very clear on concepts like "tomorrow" and she understands that it's holidays, to the point of telling us (when we say it's time for bed) "It's holidays! No go to bed yet!"
She's been talking quite a lot, sometimes very clearly. She's talking about things like what television channel she wants to watch (and she does know the difference most of the time), she's been talking about the Commonwealth Games (discussing the running, the swimming, etc., and she was quite fascinated with gymnastics), she's been talking about all sorts of things, including telling her sister (and occasionally others) to shut up.
In fact, she's talking so much that sometimes we wish she'd be quiet! All these years we've been doing the speech therapy and encouraging her to talk and now we wish she'd stop (sometimes, anyway). Oh, the irony...
I think Zoë is looking forward to getting back to school. We've been talking about it, that she'll soon go back on the white bus in the mornings and see her teachers and schoolmates, etc. I know I'm certainly looking forward to her going back to school. As I said, a restless Zoë is not a pleasant Zoë...
School is good
Zoë is absolutely loving school. She loves riding on the "white bus", she loves her morning routine, she seems to really enjoy the activities at school, and we see big, big improvements in her on all levels. We can take her out with us places now and she's pretty good about not going off too far and about coming back when called (she used to be nearly uncontrollable that way, used to scare me to death thinking she'd dart out into traffic unexpectedly or run off and fall in an open manhole or something). She's getting better about not handling everything she sees when we're in a store. She's just generally better about outings, and that's a big relief.
She's also talking quite a lot, and expressively. Her speech is still pretty idiosyncratic, but it's real speech, it's perfectly contextual, and she'll even initiate conversation sometimes. Her receptive speech has gotten MUCH better! She understands a great deal of what we say to her, or she can work out what we mean by context, and she'll answer questions (some questions, anyway).
She's even putting herself to bed in the evenings. Right around 8:30 she takes herself to bed, because we will have already put her jammies on her and made sure she's gotten her supplements and has clean teeth. She's going to bed voluntarily, which is just a jaw-dropper. Mind you, she doesn't go to sleep right away, but she does go to bed, and she does go to sleep on her own after she's had a bit of a play in her room. She seems to be getting plenty of sleep, so she must be doing all right in the sleep department.
I knew school would be good for her and that she'd enjoy it. I'm kind of shocked at just how much benefit she's getting from it, though.
Good Weekend
Zoë had a very good weekend. She was very pleasant, reasonably compliant, very communicative. She was a real pleasure to be around, actually. I think school is doing her some good! Tonight she even went to bed without a fight! Amazing. I knew school was going to be good for her, but I had no idea we'd see positive changes so quickly. As Zoë said, "Hooray! School!"
Ah, one other thing to add... Over the weekend, a heavily pregnant friend of the family came over briefly. Since Miranda and I had been talking about babies growing inside their mothers' bellies (including showing her pictures of me when I was pregnant with her), I took the opportunity to tell her that Catherine had a baby inside. Miranda was interested but a bit shy, and observed carefully but that's about all. Catherine invited her to touch her tummy, and Miranda did, but that was about it. Then, on the way out, Zoë went up to Catherine and very gently and sweetly put her arms around her belly and gave her a very gentle hug. It was VERY clear that Zoë was hugging the baby!
I was somewhat surprised because Zoë and I had never talked about babies much (although she does like them and is very, very sweet and gentle with them), certainly not about pregnancy. I would if I thought she understood, but I didn't think she'd comprehend it, so we just didn't talk about it. But she heard me telling Miranda about the baby and she must have understood perfectly, because she went to give that little baby a hug.
My conviction that she understands a great deal more than we give her credit for is certainly confirmed by something like this. I really need to get it through my head that she does understand quite a lot!
Apologies and an update
I've been incredibly busy of late. I started up a new business and I've been going a little nuts with it (but it's doing well, in case you cared). I have therefore been updating things only sporadically.
Well, I'm doing an update now.
Zoë starts school next week. Most kids are going back this week, but Zoë's school is staggering the new kids entering and so she doesn't start until Monday.
She's very excited about school. She keeps getting her new school clothes and putting them in her backpack and then saying, "I go to school today! I ride a bus!" I think she'll be perfectly happy to ride the bus back and forth, she seems pretty happy with the idea.
She also announced to us that when she goes to school, she's going to play cricket. She volunteered that in a conversation where Nanna was asking her what she'd do at school. Nanna suggested painting, reading, eating lunch, and Zoë added, "And play cricket!"
Her speech is improving constantly. She can answer questions now with "yes" or "no" if she understands the question, and she'll often volunteer information on various subjects (such as "That's my spoon" or "No want cheese").
I'm, frankly, looking forward to getting her in school. Not only will it be good for her, it'll be good for me to get the time away from her. It'll be good to have her come home in the afternoon and for me to be happy to see her because I haven't seen her all day! (I know that probably sounds like I don't like being with her, but that's not quite it; she's just a very exhusting little person, and with this new business, I'll be able to make good use of the time).
So that's the deal with Zoë. She's doing well, behavior is generally pretty okay, speech is constantly improving, and she's very excited about riding the bus to school.
A Conversation with Zoë
(Yes, I know I haven't written in too long; the holidays really take it out of me. When I'm so inclined, I"ll write up an entry on Zoë's holidays and how she handled it all. But in the meantime...)
Zoë: Where's Unca David?
Me: Where is Uncle David?
Zoë: He's gone a Canberra.
Me: That's right. Uncle David lives in Canberra.
Zoë: I go a Canberra.
Me: Yes, one day you can go to Canberra. Would you like to go there on holiday?
Zoë: No. Not holiday.
Me: Why not? Don't you like to go on holiday?
Zoë: No. No holiday. Go a shops.
At which point I burst out laughing, because basically she was saying that she'd rather go to the shopping centre than go on holiday, and given the amount of driving we did on our last holiday, I can't entirely say I blame her!
And then, a while later:
Zoë: Need a dwink a water.
Me: You need a drink?
Zoë: Need a dwink. Have a huckups!
(Note: that'd be "hiccoughs" or "hiccups" or however you want to spell it, but I knew what she meant; I didn't realize she knew you should have a drink of water to help stop them, though!)
Headaches and animals
Yesterday, we took a picnic lunch and went to Healesville Animal Sanctuary. They have some new dingo pups that I wanted to see, and Andrew has been keen to see the "Birds of Prey" show for ages (we always seem to miss it, despite going out there regularly), and it's a nice day out for us. Being "Friends of the Zoo", we get in for free, so we can spend as little or as much time as we wish there, and go as often as we like.
Anyway, Zoë wasn't looking well in the morning. She had that squinty-eyed, bleak look that often accompanies a headache. I asked if her head hurt, but she never said, so we thought perhaps she was just tired (having been up very late in her excitement over the new computer, on which I was installing her software). She was very excited about "go see ahmals", so we figured she must feel reasonably okay.
On the way there, she was sitting with her hand over her mouth. I thought that very strange behavior. I asked her what she was doing. I realized she was about to vomit, and we pulled the car over quickly, but not quickly enough...
She ended up throwing up on her knitted jacket, but her clothes were reasonably unscathed. I was very concerned about continuing on, but she insisted "no home! see ahmals!" and I relented, although it was a bit too cool to go out without a jumper (sweater). We decided to stop at a grocery store and see if they had something suitable (they sometimes do), and we ended up with a long-sleeved shirt she could wear over her t-shirt and I was happy with that.
So, onward we went and got to the sanctuary and went to have lunch. Zoë ate about half of a ham sandwich, and then left the picnic table to get back in her stroller. She was shortly thereafter sick again. This time, she leaned over the side of the stroller and threw up on the ground, which I thought was good (she figured out that it's not good to vomit on oneself). I was quite concerned and suggested again that we go home, but she was very insistent about seeing the animals, and eventually I thought we may as well try it. If she was going to get sick again, she'd at least lean over the side, and we were outdoors, after all...
Well, she didn't get sick any more, and she was drinking water and keeping it down perfectly well. We did see the "Birds of Prey" show and she was very well-behaved through it. She noted that it was "like a movie" (i.e., sitting in a theatre) so she knew how to act. She also enjoyed the demonstration that followed, which was a local Aborinal man (not that there are a lot of local Aborigines in Victoria any more) throwing boomarangs. She kept saying, "Yay! Well done, man!" when he'd catch them as they came around.
She also requested specifially to "see snakes", so we went through the reptile house, and she was very keen to look at all of the various lizards and snakes and such. We don't always see everything when we go because it's a pretty big park, and last time we went, we didn't see the snakes and said we would the next time, which of course was this time, and Zoë remembered.
When we got home, Zoë played on the computer for just a little while and then went in her room and lay down on their little fold-out couch with a pillow and a blanket and went to sleep for a while. She came out after a few hours and had something to eat (a hot dog, which she got herself from the fridge) and then several crackers (which she also helped herself to), and then she went back to lie down for a while. She came out a little while after to use the toilet and then got on her pyjamas and went back to bed (this time in her actual bed, rather than on the couch; she seems to associate sleeping on the couch with napping, and the bed with sleeping through the night).
Today, she woke up and announced, "Zoë head hurt" and "Zoë headache", and she looked quite unwell. She didn't eat any breakfast, although we did give her pain reliever. By lunch time, she'd perked up considerably and had a good lunch, and then she helped decorate the Christmas tree (chattering away the whole time!). It's the first time we've had a tree in our home for various reasons, but the kids were really excited about it, so we did it.
Now, in the late afternoon, she seems fairly well. She looks good, she seems content and happy, and she's chattering and helping her sister at the computer and watching DVDs, so whatever it was, it appears to have passed.
I'm thinking, though, that we might take her to the doctor and discuss the headaches. Her father gets migraines, her grandfather gets them, his mother got them, and probably folks before that for who knows how many generations. I don't know if there's anything they can do for her, but maybe...
Surprise! Happy birthday, Zoë!
Today is Zoë's birthday, and she knows she's six. Last night, she helped prepare little lolly (candy) bags for the kids at pre-school, and Nanna baked some mini cupcakes with pink icing and chocolate sprinkles on them, which Zoë knew were for her to take to her party today. All last night, Zoë kept running around saying, "Surprise! Happy birthday, Zoë!" and today she said, "Party tomorrow..." and then corrected it to, "Party today!" (so she does know the difference between "today" and "tomorrow" which surprised me a bit, but she does seem to understand a great deal more than she can express).
When she got to pre-school, not only was she thrilled that it was her birthday (and she personally carried the sack full of goody bags), she was very excited to see that today was the day they were putting up the Xmas tree. When I left, she was happily putting ornaments on the tree and she paused to turn to me and say, "Bye, Mom!" (Yes, she says "mom" rather than "mum"; a good many of her words are spoken with a distinctly American accent.)
It's also Thanksgiving, a holiday not celebrated much in Australia (although many of the ten thousand or so expatriate Americans who live in Victoria certainly celebrate it to some degree), and we had a turkey roast with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and veggies for dinner, to which Zoë's auntie and uncle came. Zoë was extremely resistant to eating, probably on account of having loaded up with lollies and other junk in the afternoon.  It took quite a battle to persuade her to eat something (she eventually gave in and had some buttered bread). I was very firm that she was not going to get birthday cake if she didn't have anything for dinner, and we made it clear to her. We thought we were actually going to have to forego the cake, in fact, that's how stubborn she was! But, as I said, she did give in and eat something, so we got the cake and lit the candles.
She did pretty well on the presents, too! She got Madagascar, Shark Tale (they came in a bundle), a toy ironing board and iron, one of those floor mats with a little city on it, with streets and such to drive toy cars on, a very pretty pink skirt outfit, and, believe it or not, a computer given to her by her Uncle Greg, who is apparently vying for the "World's Greatest Uncle" award (it's an older computer, actually, and it's not just for Zoë; Uncle Greg builds computers for a living and has lots of spare parts and trade-ins and such, so this one is certainly recycled). We need to pick up a PS2 keyboard (the only spare one around here hasn't got the right connector) and a PS2 optical mouse (okay, it doesn't have to be optical, but I think that's the best thing for little kids, easier to use, etc.), which Andrew will do tomorrow in one of the many computer shops in the city.
Right now, she and Miranda are sitting on the new mat watching Shark Tale. Presumably, she's going to go to bed a very happy little girl.
Zoë go see doctor
Zoë had an appointment with her pediatrician today. She was very excited about going to the doctor for whatever reason, and was cheerful and happy to get into the office, allow herself to get weighed (she was a bit fiddly with the scale, trying to figure out how it worked) and measured, etc.
When the doctor was asking her about some of the animal pictures on the wall, Zoë happily told her what the animals were (some she had to guess, such as "dolphin" when it was a fish, but they were all very reasonable guesses), and made good eye contact. She couldn't show which of two blocks was bigger, but I didn't think she'd be able to do that (she hasn't gotten the concept of "bigger" and "smaller" yet, at least, not when asked verbally; she does seem to get it in a particular computer program she likes to play).
Overall, the doctor was very pleased with Zo&eum;'s progress, as we are. I must say, I'm really looking forward to Zoë starting school in a few months. She's certainly ready for it (at least, she's ready for the special school she's going to be attending), and I believe it's going to do her a world of good. If she's made this much progress just from fortnightly speech therapy, three days of preschool a week, and one early intervention session, just imagein what five days a week of autism-specific curriculum is going to accomplish...
That's so cute
Yesterday, I was working on a digital painting of a cartoony sort of figure, a female one. As I was working, Zoë came up beside me to see what I was doing and I heard her say, "Wow, that's so cute! It's a girl!"
Now, I hadn't even known she knew the phrase, "That's so cute" but she did, and she got it excatly right, including the tone of voice. I was very surprised, and certainly pleased.
Today we went on a little outing to the Healesville Sanctuary, which is sort of part zoo and part animal sanctuary and part conservation center. We go there pretty regularly, so it's a place Zoë's familiar with. When we got there, we all put on sunscreen and Zoë wanted some put on her knee. She was wearing a pair of beloved but falling-apart jeans that have a very fashionable (and unintentional) hole in the knee, so she wanted sunscreen put there. I'm still kind of amazed by that, as I didn't know she really understood the purpose of sunscreen, but it seems she gets it. Any part exposed to the sun needs sunscreen on it, including the bit of her knee visible through the hole in her jeans!
We had a look at the flying foxes (large fruit bats), and Zoë said, more than once, "Hey, bat, what you doing upside down?"
Later, when we saw some ducks and I raised my cam |