Haircuts
Well. A couple years ago, Zoë cut her own hair and really hacked it up. The only solution was to have it all cut very short so it was even. She looked like a boy for ages. It was that short.
It's taken years for it to grow out. It was a very nice shoulder length with tapering around her face, very pretty and easy to care for and feminine. Note that I say that it "was" shoulder length...
She did it again. She used toenail scissors, of all things. Yes, I was very cross. She hacked away a bunch of the hair over her left ear, and some in the back. I asked her why. She said because it was tangled. *sigh*
So we took her today to get it fixed as best we could. It's not too bad, but her rather sticky-outy ears are very sticky-outy now, to say the least. It isn't as bad as it could have been, of course, but I'm still quite cross with her. I heard the hairstylist talking to her about cutting her hair and telling her no to do it, and Zoë seemed to be paying attention, so maybe she'll remember (she won't listen to me, but to perfect strangers, well, sure, why not?).
Yes, I know, all kids do it. Well, most do. It's not the end of the world. It's just frustrating that it took all that time to grow it out and she just went and hacked it off again!
UPDATE: The haircut reminds me very much of an early Beatles cut, that "mop top" that caused so much attention in 1964 or so. And with Zoë's sticky-outy ears, and despite the fact that she's blonde and seven years old and doesn't have a unibrow, she reminds me fleetingly of George Harrison from the early sixties. Just as well George is my favourite Beatle, I guess.
Stubborn, stubborn child
I'm absolutely furious with Zoë at the moment. She's in her room right now, yelling in outrage and, I hope, a bit of shame or at least regret.
For the umpteenth time, Zoë completely emptied an entire bottle of cleaning product. Most of the ones we buy do have a childproof cap, but not all of them. She has previous dumped out bottles of shampoo, conditioner, handwash, laundry detergent, fabric softener, and toilet bowl cleaner. One by one, we managed to extinguish those behaviors, normally by catching her "in the act" (do if after the fact and she doesn't always get what the problem is/was).
Today I caught her emptying (well, I caught her just after having emptied) an entire bottle of Toilet Duck toilet cleaner, something for which she has been scolded on several occasions. No, there's nowhere we can put it that she can't find it. Trust me, I've tried. The only place to hide things from Zoë is downstairs in the garage or possibly on the moon, but neither are a very good place to keep toilet bowl cleaner, and we don't have an appropriate cabinet in which to hide such things (not to the best of my thinking; perhaps there is a place somewhere, but I can't think where it might be).
Anyway, an entire brand new bottle of toilet bowl cleaner has now disappeared, well, down the toilet. The entire room in there reeks of the stuff. And the worst part is that my toilet bowl isn't any cleaner than it was previously, really. If I'd gotten a clean toilet bowl out of the deal, it would at least have been worth that much...
I have, in fact, calmed down in the course of writing this (as evidenced by the humor above). I'm still pretty annoyed with her, and it's still troublesome that she can't seem to work out that "no emptying bottles of cleaning stuff" applies to ALL cleaning stuff, not just the specific ones for which she's been caught (typical autistic inability to generalize there, I think). But, well, this time I caught her, made my displeasure very clear, and sent her to her room to think about it (and to give me the chance to calm down, more than anything else). I hope (fingers crossed, everyone) that she will stop it now, as generally it only takes one time of catching her in the act for her to figure out that this behavior is not acceptable.
[EDIT] Zoë came out of her room a few minutes ago, came straight to me, and said, "Give me a hug." I pulled her onto my lap and we had a big cuddle. I did ask her, "What did you do?" but she responded, "No," which I took to mean she didn't want to talk about it. I told her that she was not to touch the cleaner any more and that so long as she left these things alone, she wouldn't get into trouble. She didn't respond, but I'm sure she heard me. And yes, while having a cuddle I told her that I love her (because I do, no matter how annoyed I may be).
Formal assessment, part 2
Zoë had the second part of her formal assessment today. Once she settled in an started to concentrate, she did well, from what I was told.
Afterward, we had to wait for a while in the waiting room, because we were going to meet Grandpop. Zoë was surprisingly good in the waiting room. Historically, she's been a real terror when we have to wait anywhere, but she was really very good today. I was very pleased with her behavior, and told her so.
We'll find out about the results of the assessment probably on Monday, when we go to talk with the psychologist about the results.
Empathy
We went out to the shopping center today and were waiting in line at Wendy's (an ice cream shop). As we waited, a man came along with a crying toddler girl and his older son, and the man plopped the little girl down at the feet of her mother, who was waiting in line. Dad then said to the little girl, "I'll be back in a bit," and went off with the older brother.
Andrew and I smiled at the woman and at the little girl (we sympathize with people dealing with public tantrums!). We chatted just a little bit, parent type stuff, and the little one kept on crying and was being very dramatic about it all in true toddler style...
After a bit, Zoë got out of her stroller and stood next to the little girl, who was clinging to her mother's leg and still crying. I asked Zoë what was wrong, and Zoë kept looking in the direction that the little girl's dad had gone and said, "Mom." From that I worked out that she was concerned that the little girl had been separated from her parents, and Zoë was going to stay with her until they came back.
I told Zoë, "It's okay. That's her Mama right there, see? She's with her Mama," and Zoë looked at the situation and then got back into her stroller.
She's shown empathy of various kinds with family members (asking if you're all right when you're hurt, that sort of thing), but this is the first I've seen her show empathy for a complete stranger!
Formal assessment, part 1
Zoë went this morning for the first of her sessions for the formal assessment for IQ and developmental age. I told her a couple of times before we went that she was going to see Siobhan, who she had met before, and that they were going to do puzzles, and I told her again on the way there and once we arrived.
When Zoë saw Siobhan, she gave her a kiss on the hand in greeting, and then as we went down the corridor to to room where they'd be working, I heard Zoë say very softly, "Do puzzles." I hadn't even gotten Zoë's sweater off before she was working on the first puzzle! I went to a lounge area and had a cup of tea while they "did puzzles", with the understanding that if Zoë got difficult I'd come in and be present, but it wasn't necessary. She was apparently very cooperative, and Siobhan was impressed with Zoë strong visual ability and puzzle-working skill.
Siobhan said that Zoë "did her best", so that's good. As long as she was cooperative and paid attention, we'll get a pretty accurate assessment, which, after all, is what we want.
Formal assessments
Well. Whew. Bit of a stressful afternoon.
We went to meet with the psychologist to talk about Zoë's formal IQ/developmental assessment, and it was quite the ordeal for Zoë. She was okay at first, but got more and more upset as the meeting went on. It was in an unfamiliar office of a familiar place, which was the first thing that was "weird" for her.
Then, it was with someone she'd never met before. Then, there were lots of toys and cool things and Zoë wanted to touch and play with every single one of them, and explore every nook and cranny (which is pretty normal Zoë attitude right there). When it became clear to her that she wasn't going to be able to touch everything and handle everything, and she was told "no" several times and eventually physically prevented from climbing on chairs to get things down, etc., she just got more and more upset.
The issue here is that she may test VERY low on a formal IQ test. Today, she was very "low functioning". She's certainly not always like that, and she can be compliant and helpuful and she's quite clever about many things (for example, she can use the mouse to do point and click flood fill coloring in a particular paint program she has). If she scores very low, however (below 50), she won't be eligible for the school we have in mind, and will have to go to a school specially geared for very impaired children. Ugh.
I mean, if that's what has to happen, well, okay, and we can transfer her at some point when she's had more therapy and is more able to be in a "higher" level school. But it is kind of distressing to me, because I know she's quite clever in many ways, and I don't know that she'd be able to exercise that in a setting designed for kids with much lower intelligence.
But on the other hand, if she can't sit still and won't cooperate, she wouldn't do well in any other setting, either.
Well, I guess all we can do is see how the assessment goes and make plans from there...
Bad behavior and chocolate?
For the past three days, Zoë has been a real little pain in the neck. Very out of sorts, unsettled, uncooperative.
The only thing that has changed is that she's been consuming a lot more chocolate than we normally allow her. Around Easter time she got like this, too, and at that time we thought it was possibly the amount of chocolate she'd had (from preschool Easter parties, Early Intervention, etc.). We took her off of chocolate completely for a couple of weeks and she settled down, and then we slowly reintroduced it and she seemed to handle it okay, so long as it's only in small, infrequent amounts.
Given that both of her uncles were allergic to chocolate as children, and the fact that lately she's been having hot chocolate fairly regularly in the evenings, I'd say we might be looking at a problem with chocolate tolerence. Therefore, we'll take her off of it completely for a while and see how that goes, and if her behavior improves.
Honestly, though, with Zoë it's always fairly hit or miss. You take a look at the situation and try to make a good guess as to what the problem might be, and act accordingly. Sometimes, you guess correctly. Sometimes, you don't...
Another really good day
Zoë had an excellent day at Early Intervention yesterday, and she had a really good day today at pre-school, as well. I did have a bit of a struggle convincing her to eat breakfast, but she ended up eating and it was fine.
I'm sincerely hoping that she's turned some sort of corner with regard to school, for her well being and my sanity. I do know that I'm always in a much better mood when she's having a good day.
Stars and eating
We've started a system of stars for good behavior. She gets a star for going to bed, for picking up toys, and for each time she eats a meal properly, sitting down at the table. She's figured out what the stars are for, and that after a certain number of them she gets a special treat, and it seems to be doing the trick.
She's finally started to eat regularly, although she's still a very picky eater. She's eating breakfast (which has been a real problem) and lately, even if she's not that hungry, she'll sit down nicely at the table with us and have a drink or just sit politely!
And guess what? When she eats regularly, miracle of miracles, she's in a better mood, her overall behavior is improved, and she gets more stars, and it's a nicely self-reinforcing cycle.
I've really been at my wit's end about what to do with her behavior, and it's just such a huge relief to see real signs of improvement.
Not so good again
Zoë had a bad day again at preschool. Very uncooperative, apparently. She was in fine form this morning, sprang out of bed at about seven-thirty, ate breakfast, got herself dressed. She seemed very happy to go to school...
The teacher is convinced it's because Zoë doesn't sleep enough, and I'd love to get the kid into bed earlier, but short of physically restraining her, I have no idea how to do that. She gets up early in the mornings, we maintain a bedtime routine for her, we've tried a number of different things to get her to go to bed, but nothing works. Sleep problems are very common in autistic children, unfortunately. Zoë fits right into that pattern.
Personally, though, I think she just had a bad day. She went to early intervention yesterday and we had a disagreement there (she didn't want to have snack time and made a very big deal about it), and she was cranky all the rest of the day, and I think it may just have carried over. She doesn't appear at all tired to me.
Really, I'm starting to feel quite annoyed by some of this. I'm getting tired of the implication that I'm not aware that she should go to bed earlier than she does or that she should eat a more varied diet. I do agree that we need to keep trying things to get her eating and sleeping more, but I absolutely refuse to accept that Zoë's misbehavior is somehow all my fault...
I'd better stop writing. I'm quite irritated and I need to stop.
Cranky girl, no school
Zoë put on quite a show this morning. I think she's just tired, but whatever it was she was refusing to eat breakfast and she absolutely made it completely clear that she did NOT want to go to school. So, she didn't.
We did still have to take Miranda to her playgroup, but we came home afterward and just watched television until it was time to go get her again. Zoë didn't want to get in the car and made me wrestle her into her seat, but once settled she was okay. We got takeaway for lunch and she finally had a decent meal, and she seems in somewhat better spirits now.
She still looks very tired, though. I think perhaps she didn't sleep well...
Out the window
Zoë has figured out how to climb out a particular window. There's no effective locking mechanism on it (it's one of those crank-turn ones that opens at a slant). I've tried closing the window and just turning the crank as hard as possible AND putting in the screen, but she's quick and she's clever, and she got past both of those obstacles. Next step is to put something heavy next to the window (from the outside) so she can't get out.
Because a couple of times she's managed to shoot out that window and into the yard. She's very quick, frighteningly so. So far she hasn't done anything other than go outside and run around, but the world is a really, really dangerous place when you're an unsupervised autistic four-year-old, and it's deeply frightening that she's done this.
We've had to deadbolt all the doors, as well, and we have hook-and-eye locks on many of the internal doors, but this window is very problematic.
And with Zoë, there's no such thing as "watching her". She is very fast, very smart, and very sneaky sometimes, and you can't turn your back on her for a minute, but of course, you can't watch a kid 24/7, so...
This is, of course, completely normal behavior for a four-year-old. I did it, I know plenty of other kids who did it at this age. It's comforting to see her exhibit completely normal behavior, but it's also very frightening and extremely frustrating.
Thankfully, we live in a very quiet residential area. I shudder to think what would happen to her if she managed to sneak out of the apartment we lived in that was in the heart of Melbourne!
Amazing improvement
For about a week now, Zoë's behavior has been remarkably good. It's really quite shocking how well-behaved she is. I'm extremely pleased and very relieved.
I'm not sure what has caused this positive change. I think it may be several things. First, I suspect maybe it's just a postive growth thing. She frequently has periods of extreme irritability and difficult behavior right before a new developmental stage, so that might have been part of her bad behavior and now the good.
We're also trying a new nutritional supplement that has been reported to have very good effects on all sorts of people, including autistics.
Finally, we cut out a particular preservative that is common in bread and wheat products. The additive is 282 and it's got all kinds of bad side effects, including behavior difficulties in children. We found that there are several brands of commercial bread that don't have it, and that most cereals don't, either.
I suspect that the improvement is a combination of things, but given the timelines involved and other factors, I do think the bread preservative is probably the major factor at this time.
Whatever it is, all I can say is that I'm thrilled with the improvement in her demeanor and behavior. I had started to worry that she was getting worse. It's a real relief to find out that she is, in fact, getting better.
No! Not Nanna!
I invited Nanna to come to Early Intervention to see some of what we do there. Since Nanna had a lunch appointment afterward, she took a different car and just followed. When we arrived, Zoë saw Nanna and said, "Bye!" and was clearly very distressed that Nanna was present, something I didn't anticipate.
Zoë has difficult with context switches. Things like songs that are performed at preschool shouldn't be sung elsewhere, and then there's the case of Evil Fantasia, which is the original Fantasia movie. She got used to viewing Fantasia 2000 and liked it, and then we put on the original for her. She was a bit distressed, but not too badly, until it got to "The Sorceror's Apprentice," the only shared sequence. When that came on, she went ballistic and from then on she wouldn't even look at the cover of Fantasia because it upset her so much.
Anyway, Nanna didn't belong at playgroup, and Zoë pushed her and told her, "Bye bye!" a few times. Nanna finally took to walking some distance behind us so that Zoë didn't see her.
Well, to make a long story a bit shorter, Zoë was extremely upset. Nanna sat down quietly in a corner and we managed to get Zoë settled by having her play with one of her favorite and most involving toys, and then, slowly, Zoë adjusted. She eventually seemed to work out that she could just plain ignore Nanna, and that seemed to work fine. By the end of the session, she was doing pretty well with it.
Slowly, Zoë is learning to manage herself. I must say, it's something of a relief. I was beginning to worry she was never going to get better, and for a while it seemed that her behavior was actually getting worse...
Not a good day
I had a meeting this morning at Zoë's early intervention centre, but I didn't get to go to it. The plan had been to drop Zoë off at pre-school and then go to the meeting, which is just a planning meeting for the next term, setting goals, that sort of thing.
However, I dropped Zoë off at pre-school and I wanted to tell them that if they needed to reach me I'd be out but I had my mobile. I had just finished saying that I didn't anticipate any problems when the teacher had to rush to break up a pushing fight between Zoë and one of the little boys... I must say, this one gave as good as he got, and they were both pushing!
It seems he was where Zoë wanted to be, and she decided to just shove him out of her way. This is pretty unusual behavior for her. She's normally not aggressive like that...
Well, she repeated the behavior a couple more times in different play areas. The poor little boy she got nasty with the next time looked so shocked! He was honestly trying to play with her and she just went ballistic on him, and the poor kid just looked completely gobsmacked.
Anyway, I decided to take her home because she was just impossible to manage and unreasonably aggressive. I had to reschedule the meeting (to tomorrow afternoon). And in the car on the way home, she was being nasty to her little sister for no apparent reason, smacking her in the head!
I've put her in bed, because it was pretty clear she was tired, but I don't think she's sleeping. I wish she would. I think it would improve her temperament considerably. She hasn't been sleeping well at all lately, and it shows.
As she gets older, she's getting more and more difficult to manage, unfortunately. I have to say, it's pretty discouraging. I already worry about Zoë and her future and her progress all the time, and this doesn't really help to soothe my fears...
Stay out of the drawer!
There's a story told about Andrew that when he was a little boy, he got a stick or some such item and stuck it into an open bucket of paint. His grandfather, who had been using the paint, said something to the effect of, "I'll teach you to get into my paint!" Little Andrew indignantly replied that he hadn't been in the paint, only the stick had. (I think that's how the story goes; it's close enough.)
Well, Zoë's latest annoying behavior is emptying out the dresser drawers in her room. I've told her off about it more than once. I had thought she learned her lesson, but today when she was supposed to be having a nap, I went to check on her and she had climbed up into one of the top drawers, a box-shaped compartment, and was sitting inside it.
When I said, "Stay out of the drawers!" I didn't mean it literally, but maybe I should have...
Helper Girl
Zoë has learned that she can be a helper. She always wants to assist with whatever we're doing. Most of the time she's helpful or at least not a hinderence. Her latest "must do" is carrying up a bag when we go shopping, and she even knows where in the kitchen to put it down when we come in.
I just wish she wouldn't be quite so helpful with her attempts to clean the toilet...
Comforting Little Sister
Miranda's been out of sorts lately, and tonight when we went out to pick up pizza for dinner, the baby cried pretty much constantly. Zoë didn't say much at first, but eventually, she became concerned and tried to comfort her baby sister.
Imagine a two-year-old saying to a crying baby, "Don't cry, Miranda. I love you. Miranda's a good girl," (except not as clearly; Zoë speech is improving greatly, but her pronunciation is still unclear much of the time).
If there's one thing you can definitely say about Zoë, it's that she's a very loving little girl. Good girl, Zoë.
Toddlers are weird
For two days, Zoë was going around with her hands balled into fists. On one hand, she kept her thumb tucked inside, as well. Tonight I noticed that she had a little sore on that thumb, a raw cuticle (possibly she bit it, or it was a hangnail and caught on something). I had to wash her hands (which she HATES) and then I put on a bandage, one with The Wiggles on it. From then on, Zoë went around with that thumb sticking up like... well, like a sore thumb. In other areas, she's got a new party trick, and it's singing parts of the Winnie the Pooh song. We sing the verses and leave off the last word, which she fills in. So her part goes like this: Pooh... Pooh... Fuff... Pooh... Pooh... Bear. (The word "fuff" by the way, is Zoë's version of "fluff" as in "chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff"). She's also mastered the word "ouch," which is kinda cute. She's got a little bit of a nappy rash at the moment and while her Daddy was changing her nappy the toddler kept announcing to him, "Ouch. Ouch. Ouch," very distinctly. I think she was trying to tell him her bottom hurt!
Tantrums
Zoë is well and truly into that most frustrating stage of toddlerhood: TANTRUMS.
Her tantrums involve collapsing on the floor in a flood of sobbing and generally last no more than half an hour, usually a lot less. They can be triggered by just about anything, even sometimes by things we don't even recognize, some sort of internal thing in her little toddler brain. Who knows. A big trigger is being told she can't do something, but most of the time she's fairly good at taking direction that way... She's also much more likely to have a tantrum when she's tired or hungry, but aren't we all? We just ignore it and she eventually stops on her own when she feels better. I know this is a normal stage of development. I know it passes on its own, especially if we handle it well (i.e., we don't overreact to it). But golly, when she's lying on the floor sobbing almost hysterically it's awfully unnerving, y'know?
Remodeling the bathroom
Today, the toddler decided to remodel the bathroom. She began by pulling up some loose floor tiles. She then went on to basically just wreck the joint. 
Life with a toddler is just so fun sometimes. *sigh*
Sitting on siblings
Zoë scared me half to death tonight. She was playing quietly as I was sitting at the computer (in the same room). Suddenly, I heard Miranda start to wail and I turned to see Zoë climbing into the bouncer where the baby was sitting, and Zoë was sitting on Miranda's head!
I jumped up and pushed Zoë off and managed to knock her down in the process (that wasn't my intention actually), and I shouted as I moved (something simple like her name). Andrew came bursting out of the other room and put Zoë on the time-out seat for a moment while I blurted out what had happened and composed myself. Thankfully, Miranda was neither smothered nor hurt, and she put her fingers in her mouth and happily went back to sucking them. Zoë was pretty upset, though. I got her on my lap and held her and talked softly to her, apologizing for hurting her (I don't know that I hurt her physically, but I'm sure I scared her). I explained that I know she doesn't want to hurt Miranda, but that sitting on the baby's head isn't safe or nice. It took a while to calm poor Zoë down, and I felt absolutely awful, even though I know I was just reacting to a potentially damaging situation with the quickest thing I could think of at the time. So, ultimately, no harm done, other than for me to feel bad about upsetting the toddler who just wants to play with her baby sister. Normally, she's much more gentle with the baby and gives very sweet little cuddles and brings her toys.
Putting things away
Zoë is learning a new "game". It's the "put it back" game. She's learned that when she puts something back where she found it, she gets praised all up one side and down the other, and that's fun. This also applies to the game of "give that to me". She's starting to willingly hand over objects she's picked up to a parent or grandparent when asked to do so. Yay! Now if we can just convince her to pick up and put away all her toys...
On other fronts, she seems to be taking to the baby very well. While some of the time she's still just plain disinterested, often now she'll come over of her own free will and give the baby a little cuddle. Other than sometimes being a little too rough (as toddlers tend to be), she's doing really well as a big sister. Of course, it helps that whenever one of us sees her being sweet to the baby we tell her how nice that is and what a good sister she is. Zoë absolutely thrives on praise (and doesn't really respond very well to any sort of harsh correction; even raising your voice can make her burst into sobs and then she doesn't learn a thing). She also responds fairly well to a "time out", but she usually cries for the entire two minutes she has to sit on the time out chair (really, it's a soft foot rest that's just right for a toddler to sit on), but she does calm down and stop whatever the offensive behavior was, even though she's usually very worked up by the time she's allowed to get off the chair. In fact, she's so sensitive that she started to cry last night when I raised my voice to the cat! Even though Zoë was being perfectly lovely and quiet and not doing anything to be reprimanded for, the poor little girl started to cry when I raised my voice that way. We had to reassure Zoë that she was fine and that nobody was angry with her, and that sometimes when I raise my voice it's not because of her. I don't know how much she actually understood, of course, but she did settle down again pretty quickly. And the cat stopped climbing around in the bookshelf unit, too, for what it's worth.
She's definitely TWO
We've been offline for a while because of the holidays and such, so I haven't updated. I will now, though, even though it's going to take me a while to do all the pictures I have of Zoë and Christmastime (they'll keep for now, I think).
In the past couple of weeks, Zoë has absolutely just blossomed into a Two-Year-Old™. She suddenly learned how to climb practically everything! She can get up onto the dining room chairs and from there to the table, she can climb up onto all of the livingroom furniture, into and out of beds, and various other means of scaling the walls or shelves to get what she wants. She's also gotten very good at opening doors all of a sudden. Her cutest new trick was a few days ago. She was sleeping with her grandparents (she woke early and they brought her into bed with them) and got out of bed quietly and left the room. Grandpop watched as she opened the cupboard and got out two of her cups, went into the diningroom and put them on the tray of her high chair, and then proceeded to climb into the chair. When she tried to take a drink, she yelled because the cup was empty (she still hasn't worked out that people have to actually put things in cups). Pretty amazing, huh? My latest saying to her is, "You're very Two." And so she is. And while I am perfectly aware that two-year-olds are often referred to as "terrible twos" I don't find her so terrible. Frustrating, yes, sometimes annoying, sure, but watching her grow and bloom is wonderful. She suddenly is just full of possibilities and new abilities and it's a delight to see. I can't wait to see what she thinks of the baby...
Time Outs
Zoë got her first "time out" last night. She was in the study with us and persistently and repeatedly went over to the battery charger (this is for AA batteries for the digital camera) to remove the batteries. She's been fascinated with this for ages, and we've been telling her "no" for just as long.
Last night she just wouldn't take "no" for an answer, so Andrew picked her up and put her in her cot in the other room for two minutes. Naturally, she complained, but she settled down pretty quickly, and by the time she came back into the study, her attitude was much improved. Of course, it probably helped that we moved the battery charger to a higher shelf where it wasn't such a terrible temptation for a curious toddler.
Grinding Teeth
Zoë has started an incredibly annoying habit: she grinds her teeth. Thankfully, she doesn't do it in her sleep, which is a very, very hard habit to break. We've been resorting to gently but firmly grabbing both of her cheeks and forcing her mouth open when we catch her grinding, but so far it hasn't seemed to help much. Teeth grinding is bad for the jaw, bad for the teeth, and nerve-wracking for any adult nearby. How do you stop a stubborn toddler from indulging in it? I may have to do some research or get some expert advice if we can't figure out a good way to discourage it, or she doesn't stop doing it on her own.
La la la la...
Can there be anything cuter than a toddler "singing" along with Ariel in The Little Mermaid? Granted, her singing is mostly just "ahhhhh" and its not really on pitch, but she does have some sense of rhythm. It's definitely a toddler singing.
Clever girl, portraits, and a joke
Every morning, Zoë gets in our bed with us and has a cuddle. She also generally ends up getting several items from the Repository of All Things Cool and Interesting, which is either nightstand. Today she was playing with a small pot of lip balm and the plastic box of baby wipes. She was putting the lip balm on the top of the box, and it kept sliding off. She watched this happen a few times, made noises of frustration (she obviously wanted to stack things, one of her favorite activities), and then adjusted the box of wipes so it was more level and the pot of lip balm stayed on.
I thought it might just be a fluke, but Andrew made the box of wipes uneven again and she repeated it. She's a smart little cookie. Later, we went out to pick up her portraits. We got a couple of very nice ones that really capture her personality. Afterward, we went to the food court in the shopping center to get some fresh juice. Andrew brought mine over and put it down. Zoë reached for it repeatedly. Finally I told her "Daddy's getting some for you." She turned around in her stroller and looked right at him, just to be sure. I'm certain she understands what we say to her, so her lack of speech isn't worrying me. And then, there's that old joke about the child who reached the age of five and never spoke... Doctors, speech specialists, psychiatrists all examined him, and none could find anything wrong.
One night at dinner the child took a spoonful of soup and said, "This soup is terrible." His surprised parents dropped their own spoons and stared at him.
"What did you say?" his mother finally manged to choke out.
"I said this soup is terrible," the boy repeated.
The boy's father said, "You can speak!"
"Sure I can," the boy replied.
"Why haven't you spoken before this?" his mother wanted to know.
The boy shrugged. "Up until now, the soup's been okay." I figure that one of these days Zoë will start talking because she's found something she really wants to tell us. And up until now, I guess the soup's been okay...
The Stubbornest Girl in the World gets new teeth
Last night, Zoë was playing in the study while Andrew and I were working (he was coding, I was pretending to work but actually just fiddling around with some graphics stuff). For some reason, she took it into her head to remove all the materials (books, papers, folders, etc.) from a shelf that forms the bottom part of our bookshelf system. She was hurling these items onto the floor, into her toybox, you name it.
I told her no. She ignored me. I told her NO. She ignored me. I used her full name and told her NO. She still ignored me. I reached out and got her arm and physically pulled her away from the shelf. She went right back. I removed her. She went back. I don't know how many times we did this, but by about the third time she was bawling and I was pretty annoyed. I made sure Andrew saw it so he'd know I wasn't just being silly. Nope, there she was, the Stubbornest Girl in the World. I admire persistence. It's a good quality. Stubbornness is just persistence with an attitude, and it is actually possible to learn how to use it to your advantage rather than just annoying everyone in sight and cutting off your nose to spite your face. I'm not actually disturbed that she's stubborn, because Andrew and I both are and it would be a big shock if our child wasn't. And I'm not even really that worried about it, because this is pretty typical behavior for a not-quite-two-year-old. If she's still pulling stuff like this at the age of, say, three and a half, then I'll be worried. We took her out of the study and she had a big cuddle until she was able to stop crying (she's very sensitive and dramatic, and gets extremely upset sometimes). Then she had a drink and a snack and she watched a movie to calm herself down. She fell asleep at some point during the film. One thing to note about the situation, though, is that she seems to have gotten four new teeth at some point. It's hard to tell when they came in because she's extremely disinclined to let us look at her mouth (and forget the toothbrush!), but she's got all four canines in now. Could explain some of her irritability lately.
Newest Tricks
Zoë has two new tricks. The first is what Andrew and I call the "hidden cargo bay" trick. You see, her portable cot (which we use as a playpen as well as a bed when we travel or she spends the night with her grandparents) has a folding bottom piece. If you fold back one end of that (which she has learned to do) and you're small enough, you can nestle down into the nylon pouch that's formed when the bottom is not there and then you can pull the bottom back over yourself and become almost completely invisible. This is, apparently, a very nice place to go to sleep. (I don't know how she can breathe, but she seems to be fine).
The other trick is the "shove the entire thing in my mouth at once" trick. This works with bickies (short for "biscuit", i.e., a cookie), with pretzels, with french fries, with just about any food small enough to shove the whole thing in at one go. Since most of her food is small enough to do that with (she mostly eats finger food), she ends up doing it a lot. Oh, and this isn't a trick, but I've noticed lately she likes to sleep with something over her head and face. Her lambskin seems to be the favorite, but a blanket will also do (again, I don't know how she breathes). The funny thing is that I used to always sleep with a blanket over my head, too. I can't remember when I finally outgrew it, but I remember distinctly that I used to cover my head and make a little "tunnel" to get fresh air. I wouldn't have thought that sleeping with a blanket on your head was genetic, but there you go.
Toddler Nudist
Zoë has been taking her socks off pretty much forever (she used to kick them off or push them off with the opposite foot, and moved on to pulling them off). Then she moved on to taking the shoes off (so the socks could come off). Then her pants. Last night, she finally managed to get her shirt off.
We've got a toddler nudist on our hands, I think (although she does generally leave her nappy alone, she's taken it off at least once).
|